Words of Wisdom

Yes, I know my last blog was a bit more caustic than what I usually say and share.  I'm normally a happy, upbeat person, but sometimes when things wear and wear on me, I can only take so much.  

But, once again, I digress from my subject in this post.  As I carry on and try to adjust to life the best I can given the situations, I look for divine intervention.  Many times I get it.  Such as in the past week or so some of the daily verses on my Bible app have been the following:

Matthew 6:34  -  Take therefore no thought for the morrow; for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.

That one is printed in red and you really need to pay attention to things printed in red, people!

Proverbs 13:3 - He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life;  but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction.

Whew!  I may need that one stitched on a pillow.  Or maybe just put on sticky notes and attached to my mirror.

Colossians 3:17 - And whatsoever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him.

I will try. So all those words from the wisest of sources got me through a few rough days. I'll be fine. 

Let's get on to more positive and thought provoking things for all of us.  Okay, nothing is really more positive or thought provoking that the Good Words of the aforementioned source of The Word, but let's just move on.

I have a good friend who from time to time sends e-mails with some humor and wisdom.  I've recently gotten a few of these from him and I wanted to share some of my favorites and a few that I would call "wow" moments.

Did you know that an Aphorism is a short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever observation.

Here are some of my favorites:

 1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 

        This one reminds me of an old saying from the 70's .. "Today is the first day for the rest of your life."  When you think it's time to change your ways, how nice it is that you don't need to wait much beyond tomorrow to get started on all that self improvement.  No need to wait till New Year's resolutions.  The truth is, the future is just a nano-second away.  I'm not sure I'll get started in the next few seconds, minutes or even tomorrow on some things, but I've made some major decisions and will do what I can starting as soon as I can.  Just the decision itself has boosted my spirits.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

        Yep.. now that does address my previous blog.  Kindness in all situations is the best option.    

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.  

    Oh. My. Dear. Lord.  Do you have ANY idea how much I love this one???  If you can't just belly laugh once in a while, then you and I have no need to engage in conversation.  Ever.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
    
    Well, that's a pretty good PSA. Putting down the cell phone is a good idea, as well.

5. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?  
    
    This is true.  It didn't have to live back in Carlinville for very long before I realized I went to high school with a lot of old people.

6. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4:00 am. For example, it could be the right number. (Think about this one)

    If you have children, elderly parents, and/or just a wide assortment of loved ones in general and you don't understand this one, you might want to rush to the nearest hospital.  Your heart has probably stopped beating. 

 7. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

    But, it is just a game.  Lighten up either way.  Life is the only real serious business, but I still don't think you should even take that so seriously.
I remember taking a very little Landon to his half time potty break during a soccer game.  They were getting beat - bad.  He giggled and said, "Gigi, I don't think we're going to win this game."  It was his genuine giggle that I loved.  I hope he never changes and I think we can all learn from the wisdom of little ones. "Out of the mouths of Babes."  We should all just enjoy the game.

8.  I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.

    I hope my "happy hours" will soon involve having a precious little girl on my lap to rock, sing to (offkey), read to and love on for more than just an hour here and there.  But in the meantime, maybe I should nap once in a while to get prepared.

9. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones that mind don't matter.
    
    Well, this could refer to my previous snarky post as well.  And, I believe I've heard variations of this one since the 70's, too.

10. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.  Life is not the way it's supposed to be.  It's the way it is.  The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference.
    
    With the help of many words found - again in that aforementioned book of knowledge, I'm working on this everyday.  Life is really all about how you handle Plan B.

The following words of wisdom came from another e-mail from my friend. There were more, but I only posted the ones I liked the best. 

It starts like this:  I asked one of my friends who has crossed 70 and is heading to 80 what sort of changes he is feeling in himself.  He sent me the following very interesting lines, which I would like to share with you...

#1.  After loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children, my friends, now I have started loving myself.

    We really should put on our oxygen mask first.  Wish I'd learned this sooner.

#2.  I just realized that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.

    This follows my "you can't fix stupid" philosophy, but also, I can't fix everyone else's boo-boos and brokeness.  I can barely deal with my own.  Refer to #1 in this list.

#3.  I stopped telling the elderly that they've already narrated that story many times.  The story makes them walk down the memory lane and relive the past.

      My mother is 90.  I hear things many times.  I'm not 90, but I'm sure I've repeated the same stories to friends over and over.  Just be patient.  We ALL do this.

#4.  I have learned not to correct people even when I know they are wrong.  The onus of making everyone perfect is not on me.  Peace is more precious than perfection.

     Oh my, I really know someone in my life who could use this one.  Hopefully there aren't too many out there who think it's me.  I was rather proud of myself once at a hockey game when the guy behind me was explaining the rules to his girlfriend.  He was wrong.  I decided to let it go. I just enjoyed the entertainment in front of me and behind me.  Double the fun!

#5.  I give compliments freely and generously.  Compliments are a mood enhancer not only for the recipient, but also for me.  And a small tip for the recipient of a compliment, never ever turn it down, just say "Thank You".

     I learned the second half of that one many years ago.   I try to be humble and grateful when compliments are given.  But when one gives a compliment, I believe it must be genuine.  You can always find something nice to say.  Hate the dress? But, maybe it's a nice color.  Compliment the color.  I know someone who is a fake complimenter. By that I mean she always finds something nice to say - usually about clothes and then quickly laments that she can never find anything so cute and nice to wear.  And/or just can't afford it.  Pah-leese!   It is hard to say "thank you" to that.

#6.  I walk away from people who don't value me.  They might not know my worth, but I do.

    Don't give 100% of you to someone who only values 10% of you.

 #7.  I remain cool when someone plays dirty to outrun me in the rat race.  I am not a rat and neither am I in any race.

    I suppose this applied more when I was still in the workforce.  I'm well aware that Karma will catch up to people like this and what goes around comes around.  I've seen the results of some bad Karma, but for others I may never see it.  Not my place to keep score anyway.  Move on.

And now, just a few Aphorisms that I've collected over the years. 

Gail's list 1.  You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have.

    Yep.  But someone above helps me be strong.

Gail's list 2.  If you think you can do something or you think you can't do something - you're right. 

    

    Yep, again.

Gail's list 3.  I can’t know what’s best for another adult, or the purpose that a particular behavior is serving in his or her life.  It’s not my business to dictate how someone else lives.

    Live and let live.  You can't fix stupid anyway, right? 

Gail's list 4.  Few of us get through life without having to deal with pain and loss; we all hope we’ll handle it well.  But, the real pickle for most of us is the misery we put ourselves and others through by treating imaginary disasters as though they’re real, and then try to control them.

    I think we all anticipate trouble from time to time.  I've found that 99% of what I worried about for the future doesn't happen.  But, this is a hard habit to break.  Remember Matthew 6:34 above. 

And finally:   When you can't control something, you have to trust the One who is in control.

 

Keeping my mouth shut. But letting my fingers do the talking.

 

A friend of mine put this on Facebook today.  She tends to put inspirational Meme's out there almost everyday.  This one in particular caught my attention because I recently shared a similar sentiment with a friend. 

Over the past several weeks I've found myself in a lot of personal interactions with many people or groups of people in several different situations and arenas. I have found the best way to be kind sometimes is to just keep my mouth shut.  As I've said many times before... the reason families that get along well, do so, is because everyone in the family gets to take a turn at just keeping their mouth shut.  I'm sure many people keep their mouths shut around me and I have to say I appreciate that.  

I was sharing some relationship drama with my other friend, who happens to be someone I share a lot of things with.  I told her that there are a few people out there who have benefitted by me not saying what I really want to say sometimes in the moment.  There are a few folks who should be glad that it goes against my nature and my inner soul to be mean to people.  Even when they really deserve it.  And, I should also say that I really don't know if it's fair to say they "benefitted" by me keeping my mouth shut, or that they "should be glad."  I mean, what do they really care?  That puts way too much emphasis on my place in their life. I believe I'm humble enough to think a lot of people could get by without me in their life or my opinions on anything. I just don't know how else to say that it's probably good for everyone, especially me, that the thoughts in my head don't come out of my mouth.  Sometimes.  So I suppose who really is glad that I don't have that mean fiber running through my veins is me.  It really does feel better.  Of course, it doesn't help that I usually think of the perfect comeback much later anyway.  My hindsight being 20/20.  But the fact is I know if I had said something snarky in the moment I wouldn't feel good about it then or later.  I even shared with my friend during this conversation that when I find myself really wanting to put someone in their place sometimes the thought that prevents that is knowing that is not how God would want me to be.  I think she was quite impressed with that comment.  But it's true.  That is where my mind goes.
I find this all rather ironic when sometimes someone who really considers themselves to be Christian right to the core, is sometimes the one who will say the snarkiest thing.  I shared something with my friend that one of these people recently said and her response was something like, "not exactly a Christian thing to say was it?"  My immediate response to her saying that:  "There it is!  Exactly what I thought."  Yes, I know, we shouldn't be gossiping, but sometimes I just need someone to tell me that my thoughts and interpretation of something is accurate.  It's not like I'm spewing it all over the neighborhood.  Just confiding in one very trusted friend.  I have a few of those. I think because I've been through a lot of interactions lately, and had this and other conversations with 2 of my most trusted confidants about such things, that I felt this blog coming on.  And, then, there it was - on FaceBook this morning.  The truth is, being kind really does feel better.  

I believe I shared in a post recently that while it's not my place to judge someone, it doesn't prevent me from forming an opinion of them. I am, after all, human.  But, I still treat them with kindness. Even if they have a history of not doing the same to me sometimes. Treating them badly or rudely would be very uncomfortable and I don't like anyone in my presence to feel uncomfortable about anything. And I especially wouldn't want to be the one that brings on that uncomfortableness.  I also am working very hard at forming my opinions not on what I "hear" about someone, but from what I've experienced and seen for myself. I think we should all do that.  And we should consider this... maybe, just maybe someone screws up and does something they shouldn't.  Something questionable.  Or says something they shouldn't.  But prior to that one mess up, did they get 1000 things right?  Which is their true character?  We all make mistakes.  We all get it wrong sometimes.  I'm not throwing the first stone.  

I also shared in my conversation with my friend that I suppose I'm very lucky.  I can't think of anyone who has treated me so badly or rudely that they don't deserve my respect on some level or my kindness.  Okay, there were a couple back in Georgia, but they are no longer in my life.  And in those days rather than treating them so harshly in return, I just kept my distance and since both were in the work environment, I only dealt with them when absolutely necessary.  And in the end, I gained the respect of a lot more people than they did.  I'm not keeping score, but what goes around, really does come around.  There was one person in Carlinville that wasn't always so kind and stole my self esteem for a while.  But, a few years later when I saw this person with an obvious health issue, I told my friend that I actually felt bad for them and that I didn't understand why I would ever feel any concern for that person.  She reminded me that I am a human with a beating heart and a lot of compassion.  Okay, I suppose so, but I still don't plan to attempt a return to any sort of a relationship with this person.  As a wise woman once said, sometimes a person just needs a good "leaving alone."  Yep, I can do that - forever if I have to.

In family and friendships I find that others within those groups may have a different opinion of someone than what I do.  That's only because we come from different angles and have had different experiences with them.  I won't tell you your opinion of them is wrong, so don't tell me that mine is.  It's mine.  It's my history of them and I can forgive but not forget some things. I will be cordial. Friendly.  Kind.  But, I will also proceed with caution because of that history. As Maya Angelou said, "When people show you who they are, believe them."  Being kind to people does feel better.  But being smart and cautious towards some of them - feels better, too.