Do you have any idea how many times in my adult life I've wished I had a crystal ball? You know, the kind where you can look into the future. Just to get a glimpse of how a situation will turn out.
Remember, I am A.J. Sanson's mother. Oh how easy it would have been to raise him back in the day, if only I'd had that crystal ball. But, then again, maybe if I saw ahead at the amazing adult he would become, I would have been just a bit too relaxed on some issues and the outcome would have been very different. Sometimes he needed a push. Sometimes I needed a lot of prayer. Sometimes I would call a couple of you and say "What the heck is this kid thinking?" Teenage A.J. was never really an issue. But the 20's. Oh my! His thought processes scared me. But, we got through that. Without the crystal ball, but with a lot of patience, prayer and good friends. Both his friends and mine. The result is a wonderful human with a very proud mom and dad. But a crystal ball would have prevented a lot of mommy anxiety.
Do you remember the TV show Quantum Leap? I watched it when it was on TV back in the late 80's - early 90s'. Dr. Sam Beckett would suddenly "jump" into the past and into another person's life. This would usually be around the time that person made a choice or decision that if he/she would have chosen an alternative option, their life would have been better. That's what Sam was there to do. He would guide them to make a different choice and have a better life. In a few cases, they would even save their own life.
I've always been fascinated with the idea that sometimes even the simplest of choices we make can make a huge difference in our lives down the road. I believe I mentioned this idea previously in a blog from August 2020. (go ahead and read the rest of this post, then come back to this point and explore last year's post on this subject if you want) The Bike Ride Post
I have to wonder just what we would do if we had that crystal ball and knew what was going to happen in certain situations or issues in our lives. How would we handle things differently? And in doing so, would that alter the outcome and what we saw in our crystal ball would end very differently. Remember in "Back to the Future" when Marty very innocently got involved in his parent's early courtship and nearly wiped himself from existence. Whew! I suppose this is why we don't really need to see the future or step back into the past for that matter. We humans would screw it up. So I guess when all is said and done, we really shouldn't know too much about what's coming in our lives. We should just do our best and live carefully, boldly and gracefully.
I will be a grandma in the next few weeks. I'd love the comfort of knowing that our little girl will arrive safely and healthy. I'd love to know that her Mama will be alright, too. That the birth will be easy and uneventful, and that Daddy (the aforementioned A.J.) will be there strong and steady through the whole thing. I'd like to know that they will handle the transition to parenthood with as much ease as is possible. Knowing from experience that "ease" will never be a part of those first few months. Okay, more like the next 25+ years. They are heading into all this without a crystal ball. And without one of my own, all I can do is pray for good and great things for them all. I do that daily.
There are so many other issues and events that have me wishing I could see ahead. More than I care to mention here and some are just too private for publication. But, as I sit here and "Look Up and Out My Window" I see blue skies and trees with green leaves. All I really know is that most likely someday that sky will cloud up and rain. Eventually it will snow and eventually those green leaves will turn into all the lovely colors of autumn and fall to the ground. At least I'm pretty sure that will happen. But sometimes the things we think will happen just don't. Or at least not in the timeframe of our minds. So, I think we have to enjoy the beauty of today and hope for good tomorrows. But be prepared for just about anything. At anytime. Parenthood taught me that.
Wouldn't it be nice to know when all this craziness of the past 18 months will be behind us?
My mom is 90 years old. Recently she's had a bump in the health road, but is doing great once again. She is slowly maintaining her independent lifestyle. How long that will go on, I have no idea. I sure wish I had a crystal ball to know what lies ahead for her and for those of us who are caring for this nonagenarian. But, without that crystal ball, I just pray that her senior years are easy and comfortable and that she can maintain her life on her terms. I realize that age has nothing to do with what time and how we will leave this earth. But I hope none of her descendants go before her. Her already fragile heart would break in to a million pieces. All of our hearts would break with her.
I'm not sure I'd want to see tragedy in a crystal ball. There have been difficult times in my life. Times and things that I wouldn't want to see if I could peek into the future. Even looking in the rearview mirror is not pleasant sometimes. Would I have handled things differently on that Sunday afternoon in December 2013 if I knew my dad was going to pass away that day? How would my mom and I have handled that whole year of 2013 with him and the ups and downs we went through if we knew when that day would come? We may have missed some important lessons that his last year of life taught us. We may have become too complacent. Or maybe we would have scrambled in haste to avoid that December outcome. But the truth is we probably could not have prevented it. Maybe just prolonged it. When it's someone's time to go, it's just their time and there is really nothing we can do. Dr. Sam Beckett wasn't going to jump in and change anything for us.
We prayed. We trusted in God's plan. God's Will was done.
And there it is... without my crystal ball, there is only one way to get through tough and trying times. With prayer. With the knowledge and acknowledgement that God is in control. All we can really do is ask Him to give us comfort and acceptance of His Will, and the strength and peace to survive the tough times. We have to understand that His timing in everything is perfect. We pray that He will help us make the right choices as we encounter life's difficulties and challenges. And we will gratefully acknowledge His Love and rejoice in thanksgiving when good things happen in our lives.
I don't have a crystal ball. But, I'm glad that God does. I'm grateful that Jesus helps us understand and trust in God's Plan.
Sometimes I still wish I had one though. But I have something better. I have faith. With that I have everything. With a crystal ball I'd have nothing.