Do You Believe?

My mom, and maybe one or both of my brothers may dispute this, but I don't ever remember really believing in Santa Claus. 
Oh maybe when I was real little, but I just don't remember. 
What I do remember is one Christmas when my brother, Jim, only 2 years older than me, said something at Christmas Dinner to my grandpa that he had "seen" Santa.  I caught them both smiling and half winking at each other and I thought... they are not fooling me.  He's just not real.  I can assure you I was less than 7 when this happened because I remember the kitchen we were in and we moved from there when I was 7.  I also remember in that same "7 years or younger" apartment that I had the task of picking out the cookie/cookies to leave for Santa one year.  My mom showed me where the box of cookies was and I remember digging through them all (yes, probably with grubby little unwashed hands) and finding the perfect one.  My mom made cut out cookies and a few of the them were big gingerbread type.  Probably 6" long or more.  I picked out the absolute best.  I knew how much brown was on the back, what the icing on the front looked like... everything.  It was perfection for Santa!  It was also back in the cookie box the next time I looked after Christmas. I had put Santa to the test and he failed  -  busted!

What I really remember is that I don't ever think I bought the story that reindeer could fly.  Pah-leese!!  Now the Tooth Fairy was different.  After all in Sunday School we learned that there were (and I'm sure still are) angels with wings that could fly and ascend from heaven with all sorts of magical powers.  The Tooth Fairy was more believable since she fit that pattern better than some guy with flying hooved animals and a sleigh who could get all over the world to every boy and girls house in one night.  Really?  While the Tooth Fairy may have had to get to a lot of houses in a given night, she sure didn't have to do all of them.  And besides, if she had to, she could.  She had angel powers.  The Easter Bunny fell into the Santa category.  Just a bit unbelievable if you ask me.  Why was a bunny passing out something that came from a chicken's fanny?  Shouldn't we have had an Easter Chicken?  I might have bought that story a bit longer.

As for Santa, I also remember being in 3rd grade - so about age 8 or 9 and we were all giggling because one of the girls in our class still believed in Santa.  It was quite the scandal for 3rd grade.  I sure didn't tell her and I don't think anyone else did.  We just all got a chuckle out of it.

So what I have found amusing over the last 20-30 years is that kids way older than 8 or 9 still tend to believe.  I'm sure AJ believed beyond 4th grade.  But, maybe like a lot of kids he knew better and just didn't want to say anything.  You know... if you stop believing you get underwear for Christmas. 

I currently know 2 little 10 year olds that we are sure still believe (unless we don't realize they've figured out the underwear theory).  And one soon to be 12 year old, who we are sure realizes what's going on, but is keeping the secret from his brother and cousin.  That in itself is sort of a rite of passage.  Being in on the secret with the grown ups practically makes you one of them.  In some homes, you might graduate from the kid table to the big table. 

I just wonder how in the past 55+ years since I was in 3rd grade, (stop laughing at that math) the age of children still believing has gone up.  Do we just perpetuate it more?  Is there so much scary in this world that we do all we can to keep magic and wonder alive for them as long as we can?  I personally think that's the answer.  If we can keep it alive for them, then a bit of fun, whimsy and magic stay alive for all of us, too.  But, then, it could just be the underwear theory.

What I do believe, is that our Savior was born (approximately) on this day.  And just the way the Gospels tell us. Thank you, God for the first and best Christmas present ever.  I love this time of year, but I love the story of Easter even more.  Until then.... 

Merry Christmas, Everyone.  Angels are still everywhere.  Keep your eyes out for them.  This year, many of them wore doctor and nurse's scrubs, drove trucks and tractors/combines, wore police or fire hats and Walmart smocks.  Thousands more were incognito.

Elizabeth

I've been working on Christmas cards and Christmas letters.  Due to not seeing a lot of family and friends this year, I decided to send a few more cards out.
The Christmas letters I usually send by e-mail.  Yes, those boring family brag letters that people send out during the holidays.  Sometimes I don't e-mail the letter.  For a few people, I put them inside a Christmas card and send it through the real mail.  I figure if they don't want to read them, they can throw them away.  As for the ones I do by e-mail, if people don't want to read them... delete.  I enjoy sending them and I enjoy getting them..  Several years ago I began putting the ones I wrote each year in a binder.  What a great scrapbook for life that has become.  I can go back year by year to remember visitors, trips and family events.  Included are pictures that we took with those visitors, on trips or at family events.  
There is one person in particular that not only gets that long generic letter, but I write another private note to her on the side.  Jack's cousin Phyllis. And by note, I mean about another 2 page letter.  Phyllis lived about an hour and a half from us in Georgia.  She's still there.  Her sweet Dave passed a few years ago.  He was one of the kindest, gentlest men I ever knew.  Loved just tossing the baseball with a young AJ whenever we were together.  But, back to Phyllis.  Phyllis has scrapbooks, upon scrapbooks for every year.  Phyllis is in her late 70's so you can imagine how many she has.  I remember her telling me in the early days of e-mail how she wasn't fond of this new way to communicate, as she loved and missed the fine old fashioned art of letter writing.  Her Christmas letter is now computer generated, but always mailed in the mail.  Her letters are always full of detail on almost every event she's done over the past year.  Some with her comical commentary and occasionally the most obscure facts or details.  I enjoy reading every word - sometimes twice!  But, as I said, she loved the old fashioned letter writing and several years ago, she told me that sometimes when she'd get an e-mail, she wouldn't read it right away.  She'd print it out, put it in an envelope and go put it in her mailbox.  Then later in the afternoon when she was ready for her afternoon tea, or cup of coffee, she'd go to the mailbox, get the letter, open it and read it over her relaxing afternoon break. Just as if the postman himself had delivered it.  She is a hoot.  And we always get an additional letter from Phyllis that's just for us, too.  Usually 2 pages or more, also. 

Every year at Christmas one of my first traditions is to dig out last years cards and letters, which I make easily accessible, and with my own cup of tea or cocoa, I sit and read through them all again.  I especially enjoy re-reading her letters. 

I wrote her the additional 2020 - two page letter the other night.  And I mentioned something that Jack and I have thought of over the past several months, that only he and I and Phyllis would understand. The flu pandemic of 1918. Jack and I have mentioned it in the last 10 months in a few conversations.  I asked her if she had thought about Elizabeth, like we had.  
You see, Phyllis' dad and Jack's mom were brother and sister.  But, there was another sister, Elizabeth.  Elizabeth died in the pandemic of 1918.  She died in October 1918 which by historical accounts, the fall of 1918 was especially the worst.  She was just 7 years old when she died. Jack's mom, Lydia was barely 6 and Phyllis' dad, Walter was 13.  

For as long as I knew Jack's mom, you could always tell that this major event in her young life was a hole that she carried in her heart forever.  Imagine... 1918.  They lived on a farm a few miles outside of town. You didn't have mom or dad drive you to town to play with other friends, you didn't go to the movies every week, you didn't call and talk to your friends on a phone.  You were home and your whole world was in those few acres around the farm house and your only playmates were your siblings.  Can you imagine being 6 with a sister just a bit older than you who was your whole world - and then, suddenly she was gone? You also have to remember that the grown ups would never had pulled a little one aside to explain anything about why her sister was gone.  No attention paid to the devastation and heart ache she must have felt.  It wasn't their fault.  It's just the way it was back then.  Children were not recognized as full living human beings with emotions and feelings.  And on top of that, I'm sure she could hear the gut wrenching sounds of her own mother's sobs as she had to accept that God had taken her sweet little girl away from her.  How frightening it must have been to hear her mother's heart breaking out loud.  Lydia wore those wounds her whole life.  Add to that, as I understand, her mother was never really the same.  She became cold and distant.  Withdrawn.  Going through the motions of life with little feelings.  Today we'd call that depression.  So sad.  And the fallout showed in Lydia's demeanor and personality quite often..

As I understand it, that pandemic lasted about 2 years. So if by next Spring we have an available vaccine and most of this is put behind us in less than 2 years, we should thank God for the times we live in.   Maybe we are all tired of hearing this on the news, but at least we can get some information.  In 1918, there was not an easy way to warn people.  Only newspapers.  Or that old fashioned way of communicating through the postal mail.  Snail mail.  News information was not instant.  As annoying as our social media can be with the misinformation and political nonsense, it can also be used as a source for good information.  You just have to be aware of the source.
For our children, this has been scary, I'm sure.  But thankfully we now live in a time when we realize that they are human beings with real feelings, emotions and fears.  And it is always the responsibility of the big people in a family to look after the little people.  Maybe they won't understand your words exactly, but they will remember your demeanor.  So explain what you can to the little ones. Explain it all calmly and without panic.   I pray that you don't have to explain why a loved one has passed.  But if you lose a loved one - now or anytime, please take time with the little ones to help them understand. Explain it in the simplest terms that they can understand.  So they won't have to bare the weight of their devastation, heart ache and confusion for 80 years.

Over 50 million people died in the pandemic of 1918-1919.  195,000 died in October 1918.  One of them was Aunt Elizabeth.  And sadly she took a piece of her little sisters innocence and so much of her mother's heart that there was little left to nurture her remaining family.  It wasn't her fault.  It was 1918. There were no psychologists or therapists to talk to the big people either. 

Can we be thankful in 2020? Yes! We can!!

'tis the season to be Thankful.   I am !!!!!
Yes, 2020 has been a bit of a challenge for us all. And when I get sad about all that has been taken from us this year, I remind myself how blessed we have been, as well.  Jack & I and AJ & Abby and our extended families have so much to be thankful for.  I can only pray that our blessings continue. Most of our family members have been working throughout this year and the ones who couldn't work all the time were able to manage and make adjustments. So, I'm thankful.

Yes, some family members on the Sanson side have been sick with Covid recently.  But thankfully, all are recovered or seem to be recovering well.  No hospitalizations were necessary.  So I'm thankful. 

My mom has stayed safe and even her on-going health issues have not caused any troubles or hospital stays for her.  So, I'm thankful.

Emotionally, this has been a rough year for many.  And I'm one of them.  I've gone through initial anxiety, to doing well and then back to anxiety again recently. About 2 months ago, I began to have emotional issues with "the mask".  I can assure you I'm past this, but for a while, I felt like a bit of a leper.  Sometimes I'd avoid going to a store because I didn't want to wear it.  I felt as if we had become the faceless society from a 1950's science fiction movie. And ironically it is science that confirms the safety of wearing masks. I've witnessed what I can only assume are successful results of mask wearing. I thought people who were complaining that their civil rights were being violated when told they have to wear them were a bit radical and whiney.  I still believe that.  I want to ask them, when was the last time you got in a car and didn't buckle up?  But, I also didn't want to open that can of worms.  I mean, that could start a new revolution and Ralph Nader is too old to fight them anymore. (Yes, just Googled that.  He's still alive.  He's 86).  After all, over 50 years ago Ralph convinced the government we needed to wear seat belts and after a while it became *gasp* the law!  No way of knowing how many lives have been saved by that. And, yet, I still don't want masks to become the law like seat belts. Just something we need to do for a while.  I've gotten past my phobia.  And, I'm thankful.

Lately, even though the Covid cases are rising, there is good news on the vaccine horizon.  I pray the good news continues.  Pray for success.  And I'm so thankful.  And we all should be thankful for the people who volunteered for the testing of these vaccines.  And we should pray everyday for healthcare workers, first responders, all the people who have kept our country running.  We should pray for people who have lost so much.  We need to continue to call on God to guide us all, keep us all safe and comfort and heal those who are suffering.

But, then, we should probably pray that every year.  Not just this year.  And everyday.  Not just this day.  And be thankful.

But, there are more emotions:  I shed some form of tears daily. Daily.  Not bawling and sobbing, but just tears that I have to fight off. No, it's not PMS.  That's so far back in my rear view mirror I barely remember it.  The big M is back there somewhere, too.  So this can only be attributed to the emotional roller coaster of 2020.  Sometimes happy tears.  Sometimes sad tears. Sometimes the tears are triggered by a song on CarPod.  Sometimes it's one of those dang Hallmark movies.  Sometimes it's just a memory - especially now as the Holiday season is upon us.  About a week ago, I caught a rerun of "Friends".  One of the very early ones when "Ben" is born.  Oh. My. Lord.  TEARS!!  But, then, I remember after AJ was born, one of the other young mothers in one of our playgroups commented how after you have a baby, you can't watch a baby being born on TV or in a movie without shedding a few tears.  I knew she was right then, because I'd already experienced that. It's still true. Of course, there was a time that even through the tears of watching a scene like that unfold on a screen, I would think to myself.. "yeah, he's cute now, but he'll be 20 someday."  You can do your own math on when that was. We survived those early 20's and I don't feel that way anymore. To be honest, I thought he was quite charming throughout that time, too.  Now the "baby born" tears could be because I realize that by the Grace of God, the time is coming closer for AJ to experience that for himself. 

And, I'm so thankful. 

It's been a rough year.  It's not over.  But, we have SO much to be thankful for, people.  So much.  According to CarPod and Mahalia Jackson, "He's got the whole world in His Hands." 
I find that quite comforting.  And, I'm thankful.

For my fellow "boomers", I'll leave you with this.  Remember as Thursday arrives, you need to remember 2 things.
1. Turkeys can't fly.  God will be your witness to that.
2. You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant.

I love you all.  I thank God you are all in my life.

 

Christmas Ghosts or 'tis the Season

 
Christmas 2019

THE GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS PAST
The earliest Christmas I remember was one year when I got a small kitchen set.  This wasn't the full size.  The refrigerator was probably about 15" tall at the most.  There was also a small sink and small oven.  I was maybe 4-5 years old.  I'm not really sure if I remember that Christmas, or I just think I do because there is a picture of me with that set.  I do remember playing with it a lot.  I also remember one Christmas when I got a "Tiny Thumbelina" doll.  It might have been the same year.  I know it was close in the timeframe.  She had a wind up knob on her back.  You wound her up, laid her on her back or stomach and she would roll over like a real baby.  Again, there is photo evidence, so I don't know if I remember that Christmas or the picture brings the memory.
I also remember as a preteen getting the coolest mod watch.  It had a few different colored leather straps and you could snap the watch face into them depending on which cool 70's mod outfit you were wearing.  Again... a photo of me wearing it, but also modeling the one piece jumpsuit jammies that my Grandma made for me.
I remember in my early-years Christmas mornings my dad would go get my Grandma Leefers.  She'd come and watch us open our Santa gifts.  Then, eventually we'd take her to my aunt and uncle who lived in Carlinville and we'd go to my Grandma and Grandpa Lancaster's house for dinner and a family gathering.  My mom had 2 brothers and they and their wives and kids would all come.  At least that's what I remember.  Apparently her oldest brother didn't come, just his wife and kids.  He always worked Christmas Day and could make a lot of money by doing so.  Sorry that he didn't understand which was more important.
As we got older and older those family Christmases sort of dissipated as some of the older cousins married and had another family to accommodate for the holidays.  I remember specifically one of the younger cousins lamenting one year prior to the holidays that she just wished we could have Christmas like we used to.  Don't we all?
Eventually one of my aunts would have a family potluck gathering a few weeks before Christmas.  She'd hire someone to play Santa and he'd bring gifts for the little ones.  We didn't get to participate when we were in Georgia, but once we moved to Illinois we attended a few.  Sometimes our hockey tickets would conflict.  It seems like about every weekend in December there was always something.  Sometimes a few somethings.
Things change.
When Jack and I got married and before AJ, we spent a couple of years trying to manage both families.  Both my sisters-in-law's families celebrated Christmas Eve, so it made it easy for my mom to have us all Christmas Day.  Eventually, and before AJ, we worked it out and started spending Christmas Eve with the Sanson side and Christmas Day with the Leefers side.  That went very well for many, many years.  Jack, AJ & I would always drive up from Georgia to be with our families for the holidays.  I think some people didn't understand why we wouldn't want to be in our own home for those days, but, unlike a family member that I mentioned above, we realized a long time ago that Christmas was about family.  I wanted to give AJ the whole family and cousin experience when it came to Christmas.  The houseful of noise and chaos that the 3 of us would never have had in Georgia.
On the Sanson side he was sort of in the middle.  15 years younger than his youngest first cousin and the other 2 were in their early 20's.  Then, when the next generation came along he was 6 years old.  Although he had a great relationship with the younger ones as they grew. And those family Christmases were also full of noise and chaos. 
On the Leefers side, he had a few older cousins who were 9, 8 and 4 years older than him, but another one that was just one month older.  I found a great sign for my mom and she still displays it.  "Grandma's House, where cousins become best friends."   I'd like to think that's still true. AJ always seemed to have a special relationship with each of them.  So much so that the two oldest - the girls - always thought of him as their little brother.  Again, I think that's still true for them. 
After we moved to Carlinville we continued those big family Christmases at my mom's, but as she got older, she was willing to give up the hosting duties and the Leefers Christmas House became our house.  It still is, as best as we can get together.
I'm sure Christmases at Grandma and Grandpa Leefers house are among the best memories of all 5 of their grandkids, and I hope they've had a few good memories since then at our house. Each year we would take a picture of them all under the tree.  When my parents had their 50th Anniversary, I put all the grandkid Christmas pictures up to that point in a large poster frame to display at their party.  It was sort of a crude paste-up, but it worked.  Last year, I took the ones since and made another poster frame print.  This time the technology and options were a little better and of course, the pictures now included the great-grandsons.
Both the Leefers and the Sanson Christmas gatherings have dwindled a bit due to the kids having other families to accommodate.   Sometimes it's hard to for all to gather at the same time. 
Things change.

GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT

Well, that's quite a ghost, now isn't it?  What will we do?  What will you do?  We still have Thanksgiving to consider before we even get to Christmas.
I don't think my sister-in-law has figured out what she's going to do this year for the Sansons.
With my mom being 90, I still want to do what I can to give her as much of her family as I can for the holidays.  It's always been a special time for all of us.  AJ & Abby will spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with her family this year.  But, they will come on Saturday, so we've decided to do what we can to gather on Sunday the 27th.  We are all aware that all this could be canceled at a moments notice.  The "F" word is flexible.  (I learned that from being in the education world... that was always our "F" word.)
I decorate a lot around the house, but as of this writing, I plan to put up the tree and that's it.  I'll probably dig out my big Nativity, too.  After all, we should really focus on the "Reason for the Season" this year more than ever. 
We'll not have the traditional feast.  Plans are for just cold cuts sandwiches, chili, soup, and some munchies.  Of course lots of sugar treats to follow.  At this time, there will probably be 13 of us out of the possible 20.  But, that's okay.  It is what it is.
Masks will be required - unless eating.  Eating will be more spread out.  Plastic gloves for the buffet - use them, toss them and if you go back - use another.  Paper towels in the bathrooms so we don't use the same hand towels.  Lots of hand sanitizer all around and sanitizing wipes.  Feel free to steal any of these ideas for your own family.  We hope to make it all work. And, yes, I'll admit, it's not all for my mom.  A lot of it is for ME!  My reasons are emotional and private, but I hope we can pull this off and fill the house with love that day.

GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE
Who the heck knows?!  Sadly, we Leefers know that if/when Grandma is no longer with us, these Christmas Day celebrations will likely end.  I've suggested that I'd love to do what my aunt did and try for a Saturday evening in early December for a family potluck gathering.  I've also told them that I'd love to get the 5 grandkids and their families together sometime during the Spring or Summer, too.  After all, my generation grew up with huge family reunions, and maybe it's time to start that tradition with this group. 
Jack and I will be with AJ & Abby on those Christmases going forward.  Even if we haven't been officially invited yet.  Sorry, Abby, you married an only child!

My prayers are that you can all have some sort of holiday celebrations.  Zoom, or FaceTime or gather in small groups spread out a bit with safety precautions.  You don't have to be in the same room, state or even country to enjoy each other and feel the love for each other.  
Jesus is love.  And it's His birthday!  So celebrate the love anyway you can.

I don't think you can zoom in, so I made these as big as I could.  Hope it works!

Don't Mess with my Grandma!

Recently I've been in communication with a couple of cousins and it has sparked many memories and a few stories of our ancestors.  One of these cousins found a photo album from around 1940 that belonged to their dad - my Uncle Dale.  Their dad was my dad's oldest brother.  This album had pictures of their dad "out west". This was a surprise to them that he'd apparently traveled the US during that time.  Their parents, my uncle and my aunt, both passed many years ago, and my mom is the only surviving member of that generation for either side of their family.  They wondered if my mom would remember that trip or if she ever heard stories about it.  I told them I'd ask her, but they must realize, she wasn't around the family in 1940.  She and my dad did not graduate from high school until 1948, didn't meet until the next year and didn't marry until 1951.  
I asked.  She didn't remember anything about a trip, but, she wondered if it could have been around the time he enlisted in the Marines and maybe he was in training out west.  Further e-mails back and forth determined that was unlikely as he did not join the Marines until 1942.  He was discharged in 1945.  
For as long as I can remember, there was one story about Uncle Dale's military service that I've heard many times.  Another math lesson coming...
Our grandpa died in 1934.  He left my grandma with 4 sons and 1 daughter. Uncle Dale was the oldest at 12 and my dad was the youngest - not yet 5.  So Uncle Dale was the man of the house.  The only real father that my dad knew.  So jump ahead to my dad being a sophomore in high school in the mid 1940's.  The timeline from his graduation date would have made his 1st sophomore year around 1944-1945.  Yes, I said his 1st sophomore year. Why?  Because that was around the time Uncle Dale left for the service.  According to my grandma and aunt, they couldn't get my dad to do anything in school that year.  He passed PE, but that was it.  So, he had a second sophomore year. They all knew it was because Uncle Dale had left for the service.  His hero wasn't there anymore and my grandma and aunt had their hands full with a sullen teenager. In looking at the timeline from cousin Larry as to Uncle Dale's service dates, he joined the Marines around 1942.  But again, my dad would have been a sophomore the first time in 1944.  So now, I wonder, if this would have happened not necessarily when Uncle Dale went into the Marines, but maybe when he was sent overseas.  That could have been around 1944.  I just know my dad had 2 sophomore years and it was always determined that it had something to do with Dale being gone. 
I checked with another cousin, whose mom, my Aunt Melba, was the only sister among these boys, and as we know, moms tend to share more stories from the past than dads.  I asked if she remembered her mom saying anything about Uncle Dale taking a trip out west. She doesn't remember her mom saying anything about that.  But, she shared another story with me about Uncle Dale, high school and our grandma.  Apparently Uncle Dale did not want to finish high school.  Our grandma was doing all she could to keep him in school and one of my grandfather's brothers told my grandma that Dale did not need to finish high school and get a diploma. Our grandma told him that her son would get a diploma and he needed to butt out!  I just can't love this story enough.  She was one strong lady!
I don't think most of the 18 grandchildren of my generation truly understand what a remarkable thing our grandma did back in those days.  I try to share as much as I can about her and some of our other ancestors to the small group of the next generation that is "under my watch", but I'm not sure they will ever fully understand.  I'm really not sure any of us can comprehend.
But, here's the best story to sum up just what kind of woman she was. You see, as I said, our grandfather died in 1934 leaving her with 5 children. (One child had already passed 9 years earlier at the age of 1-1/2.)  Several years ago, I realized what a remarkable thing she did in keeping the family together. That was around the time I read a magazine article about some brother’s and sister’s in their 70’s & 80’s who had found each other after being separated in the 1930’s when their father died.  They were all adopted out because the mother alone could not care for them.  That's when I realized then what an amazing thing my own grandmother did to keep her family together. There was no Social Security then, but, the family hung together.  Somehow.  I'm sure my Uncle Dale, as the oldest, went out and found work, and probably wanted to work more to help make more money, and that's likely when my grandma stepped in and and told him he'd stay in school.  My grandmother took in sewing and with the help of various other relatives - some who took the boys in during the summers to work on family farms - she managed to keep everyone together.  Once summer was over, they were all back in school.  My mother-in-law knew my grandmother very well through their church activities over the years and she thought my grandma was an amazing woman.  She once said to me about my grandmother, “all those years she was a widow and you never heard one hint of scandal about her.”  I never thought of that before either, but, I’m sure there were men in the community who would have been more than willing to help her out financially.  That never happened. My grandmother knew her most important role was to be an example to her children.  Work hard, have faith in God and live an honest life.  Not only did they all 5 graduate from high school, but they were all confirmed in the church that their great great grandfather had helped to build. 
When my mom went back to work when I was 3, my grandma eventually became our babysitter.  My brothers were older and reached an age where they could stay home on their own sooner than I did.  I had a few years to catch up to them, so I spent a lot of time with her.  Probably more time than any of the other 17 grandchildren.  She was one of 6 sisters and 4 of her sisters also lived in Carlinville, so I spent a lot of time around all of them as well. Also, I spent a lot of time with one of my grandfather's sisters, who was very close to my grandma - my Great Aunt Zella. (shhh... don't tell anyone, but she was my favorite!)  All strong willed women and any one of them would have told Uncle Bud to "butt out".  
I have many, many memories, but my favorite is this.  After my Uncle Dale died suddenly at the age of 51, my grandma was broken hearted.  Four months later she suffered a stroke that left her unable to walk well and although she wasn’t confined to a wheelchair, it certainly made getting around easier for her. During the Easter Cantata at that same church where her 5 children (and now several grandchildren) had been confirmed, the senior choir was to sing the Alleluia Chorus. It is a tradition for the audience to stand for that.  I was in the junior choir and we were in the front of the church on the altar facing the audience.  The senior choir, was in the choir loft above and behind us.  There in the front row of the church, my grandmother rose from her wheelchair and stood for the whole Chorus.  Whenever I start to question God’s ways, I remember that mental image.  A woman who – through all the struggles of her life, did not question His ways for one minute.  And she stood to honor Him even when it was difficult to do so.

CarPod or "I've got the music in me."

"You've got to get up every morning, with a smile on your face and show the world all the love in your heart.  Then people gonna treat you better, you're gonna find, yes you will, that you're beautiful as you feel.... "
Yes, if you follow me on FaceBook, you'll know that I recently posted that quote.  It's from the song Beautiful by Carole King.  I quoted it because it played on CarPod the other day when I was driving.  CarPod for you non-FaceBook folks is the iPod that stays in my car and stays connected all the time.  There's over 9 hours of songs on my biggest playlist.  I could drive for a day listening and the world could come to a halt, and I wouldn't know.  I was at work/school on 9/11, but I often wonder what my day would be like if something like that happened today and I was on a long trip driving somewhere.
I enjoy music so much.  I've often said that music will give us just what we need.  It gives us hope and strength when we are down and will expand our joys when we are feeling joyful. It makes our sad times easier to cope with and our happy times happier.  It can stir our emotions with memories.  It can bring us to either sad or happy tears with our private thoughts and remind us of someplace, sometime or someone special.

CarPod has many songs and about a dozen playlists.

Jack says most of my music is dumb.  But, I occasionally have one or two that he enjoys.  I'm a 70's kid when it comes to my tastes.

John Denver was my favorite in the 70's.  He was much bigger than most people give him credit for.  I remember when AJ was a teen, Take Me Home Country Roads had a bit of a resurgence.  I also remember AJ's shock that I knew that song.  There were a few more JD songs that I liked.  I think I liked Perhaps Love the most.  "If I should live forever and all my dreams come true, my memories of love will be of you."

Songs like Windy by the Association, You're In My Heart by Rod Stewart and When You Remember Me by Chris Thompson are among those songs that remind me of someone special or a special time in my life.  

Among the songs that I consider "Our Songs" for Jack and I:  Leather and Lace (Stevie Nicks & Don Henley), Harvest Moon (Neil Young) - that one was dedicated special to us at AJ's wedding, Arthur's Theme (Christopher Cross), The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me (Gladys Knight), The Search is Over (Survivor) - "now I look into your eyes, I can see forever, the search is over, you were with me all the while."  and Still the One (Orleans).  "We're still having fun and you're still the one.."
From our wedding:  Just You and I (Eddie Rabbit/Crystal Gayle), Color My World (Chicago) - I came down the aisle to the flute solo at the end -  and The Wedding Song (Paul Stuckey). "He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts."   All these songs bring back memories of the day. 
Songs that remind me of AJ:  Forever Young (Rod Stewart) - danced with him at his wedding to that one, Freebird and Simple Man (Lynyrd Skynryd) - "Oh, take your time, don't live too fast.  Troubles will come and they will pass.  You'll find a woman, yeah, and you'll find love.  And don't forget, son, there is someone up above." Mahogany (Diana Ross), "Do you know where you're going to?  Do you like the things that life is showing you?"  and John Denver's Christmas Song, A Baby Just Like You - "And as the magi came with gifts, I come with my gift, too.  That peace on earth fills up your time, that brotherhood surrounds you, that you may know the warmth of love and wrap it all around you."   There's always The Best of My Love by the Eagles, because sometimes that kid just got the best of my love.  When I hear We Rode in Trucks (Luke Bryan) I'm reminded of AJ and his Georgia friends. "We were all best friends, wide-eyed, baptized and still wanting to sin."  Speaking of sinning how about The Devil Went Down to Georgia?   Speaking of Georgia... Georgia On My Mind.  Good memories.

Particular voices that just melt my butter... Micky Dolenz of the Monkees, Dean Martin and Steve Perry (Journey).  Yes, I'm that old and that complex.  But... swoon!!!

The first line of Elton' John's Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me reminds me of someone in particular - every time.  "I can't light, no more of your darkness."  I'm just going to leave it at that.

Amie by Pure Prairie League takes me back to a friend's wedding.  The memories of me and a few other beer and/or wine infused girls singing that one at the reception, quite loudly - together.  A memory which lasted longer than the marriage.
Speaking of marriages and weddings... have a DJ play We Are Family and watch me and all my "sisters" dance.... and sing... and dance some more!!
SPORTS FUN:  1982 St. Louis Cardinals - Celebration by Kool and the Gang.  The 2019 St. Louis Blues = Gloria by Laura Branigan.   I think we Blues fans made it one of the most downloaded songs last year.
I have a couple of playlists of Christmas Music.   One with words and one just instrumentals.  (I can sing along!)  If you've never heard Michael Crawford sing Oh Holy Night, do yourself a favor... Google and listen!  Folks my age will remember Bing Crosby and David Bowie singing The Little Drummer Boy together.  If you don't know that one... do yourself another favor.  Google and listen.  "I pray my wish will come true.  For my child and your child, too. He'll see the day of glory.  See the day when men of good will live in peace, live in peace again."

I have a playlist of just Hymns.  Many times in my life I feel the need to switch over to that playlist.  Precious Lord, Take My Hand... That plea comes in handy quite often.  And if I really want to think ahead, my funeral song Just As I Am is on there.  "And that Thou bidst me, come to Thee... Oh Lamb of God, I come, I come."  In all my hymns on CarPod, I learn just "How great Thou Art."
And in the Spring when I feel like singing my favorite Easter song - Christ the Lord has Risen Today - Debby Boone will sing along with me.

More Debby Boone notes:  When she recorded You Light Up My Life about 40 years ago, she said even though it was promoted as a love song, to her it was more spiritual.  She said many people picked up on that just by the way she sang it.  "You light up my life. You give me hope, to carry on.."  I find the same spiritual message in Celine Dion's Because You Loved Me:
"You were my strength when I was weak.  You were my voice when I couldn't speak. You were my eyes when I couldn't see.  You saw the best there was in me.  Lifted me up when I couldn't reach. You gave me faith cause you believed.  I'm everything I am because you loved me."

I have a play list for the kids.  Landon always got a chuckle out of Down by the Bay... you know... where the watermelon grows... "Have to ever seen a goose, kissing a moose... down by the bay?"  I still hear that little boy giggle.  We sang the Hokey Pokey, but while in the car we couldn't go through the motions.  We did that in my kitchen when we got home.  Where we got our musical accompaniment from... you guessed it.  KitchenPod!  There are many more songs on the kid's playlist and I hope to share them all someday with my own grands.

We can learn so much about life from music. Lessons from the obscure to the obvious.
Such as when the Eagles remind us about the Hotel California - where "you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave."  Or when Ricky Nelson tells us he went to a Garden Party and he's "learned my lesson well.  You see, you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself." Or when Louie Armstrong (or my version, Rod Stewart) reminds us... "It's a wonderful world."  And even Raffi reminds us.. "the more we get together the happier we'll be". If you haven't learned that lesson this year, then you still have a lot to learn.
One that sends a thoughtful message and also reminds me of someone in my life... The Rose.
"It's the heart afraid of breaking, that never learns to dance.  It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the chance.  It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give.  And the soul afraid of dying, that never learns to live." 
If you need to find some happy... listen to music.  If you need to melt the sorrow... listen to music. If you need more life lessons... listen to music.  Or you can always re-read the first few lines of this blog. 

So on that note or this note 🎵:  "kiss today good-bye.  The sweetness and the sorrow.  Wish me luck, the same to you.... won't forget, can't regret what I did for love."  

 

As Political as I'll get...

We voted.  By we, I mean, me, Jack and my mom.

Yes, I know it's not November 3rd.
By voted I mean we voted by mail - sort of.

Most of my family and friends know that one of my biggest soap boxes is that I feel very strongly that voting is not something that needs to be incredibly convenient for us.  The people who secured this privilege, and those that have continued to safeguard it, had no convenience in providing and defending this for us.  Therefore, it should not be so easy for us.  It should never be something that we can do on our couches, or in our jammies, when it fits our schedule. We need to always make an effort.  For those of us who can, we need to always get off our couches and go to the polls.  Every election day.  Not just the big one every 4 years.  

I realize there are many people who cannot get out and vote in person.  For them, there are ways to vote.  We who can, perhaps, need to offer whatever services we can provide to those who cannot.  Drive them, get them to a facility to vote early or find out how to provide them with an absentee ballot.  And, yes, I believe mail has always been an option.

So if this is my soapbox, why did we vote by mail this time?

First of all, my mom, because of her age and because of the pandemic was always planning to vote by mail.  I agreed, that was best for her.  But, why Jack and I?  Well, a couple of months ago, when the option to apply for a mail ballot was presented to us, a couple of things happened.  First, we live in a small community and we have a good County Clerk, who's office is in charge of elections.  He did a video on Facebook explaining the procedures for the voting by mail option in our county.  One of the things he explained was that once we got our ballot by mail, we had more options than just returning it by mail.  He would provide secure drop off options within the county and would actually be stationed for one evening in each town during October for ballot drop offs for those who cannot get to Carlinville, the County Seat.  We could also hand carry our completed ballots to his office.  We felt fairly comfortable with that process as I could hand carry all 3 of our ballots into the Courthouse.

The second thing, and probably the real reason we decided to vote by mail was this.  Around the time we were to decide if we wanted to apply for a mail ballot, Jack and I had a few friends who found themselves in a quarantine situation.  Fortunately, all tested negative.  But we realized we could just as easily find ourselves in that situation at any time.  And, what if, that happened just a few days before the election.  What if we would be quarantined and not able to go to the polls?   We cherish this honor and privilege and this election is too important for us to miss that opportunity. 
So, in this very bizarre year, we voted.  By mail.  Sort of.
Tuesday, I took all 3 of our sealed ballots into the Courthouse to the County Clerk office. 
My mom and Jack both had to fill out the back of the outer envelope authorizing me to carry in their ballots.  I, too, had to sign the back of their envelopes.  I handed them to the lady at the County Clerk office and she noticed mine just had my name and no authorization for another party to return it.  "This one is yours?", she asked.  "Yes."   Then she glanced at the back of the others and said, "Okay, thank you."  She did not look at them long enough or close enough to verify that all was filled out correctly.  She did not ask for an ID to make sure I really was the authorized party.  Yes, this is a small town, but no... I had no idea who she was and she didn't know me.
So...we should pray.  All any of us can really do at this point is put our faith in God that His will be done in this election.
Please do both.  Vote and pray.

Emotional memories

Yes, I know, it's been a long time since I've posted here.  Trust me, there are a lot of thoughts that go through my head, but very few that I want to share.  Out loud.  On the internet.  Besides, I promised nothing political here.
I've also been busy working on that project that I referred to in my last blog.  Plus, I've had a birthday since my last post and a couple of adventure days.  

I had a fun day back in "the Lou" with Kelley.  We haven't done that in months!!  I know, most people haven't done "normal" for a long time.

I spent a partial day in Springfield at some of the "bigger" stores, getting things that our Carlinville Walmart doesn't supply.  I already see that I need to go back.
We took my mom to Wentzville to see A.J. and Abby and their house one Saturday.  She did very well and even went down the steps to see the basement and better than that... she came back up!   AJ carried her oxygen tank for her in both directions.  I think she had a good day.  Some normal family time for her.

In working on that writing project today - editing and adding commentary to the blog that I did during our transition to Illinois - I came across something from the day before we officially moved to this house.  We'd been at our rental house for 4 months and even though the official "all hands on deck" family assisted move was still a day or two away, our new bedroom furniture had arrived here, so, Jack and I decided to bring a few of our bare essentials and just spend a night or two here before the big move.  A.J. was living at college by then.  I found this in my writings:

    "...... when I talked to AJ on the phone, I told him we’d be at the new house when he got to Carlinville. His response brought tears. He said, “No, mom, you’ll be home. That’s home now.”

Reading that today, brought tears again. 
I also noted something else in my writing around this same time.  In our early days here, Jack and I used garage door openers and we didn't lock the door from the garage to the house.  So that's how we got into the house.  No key required.  We only had 2 remotes and cars were not programmable back then, so.... A.J. would need a key.  Therefore, A.J. became the first person to officially carry a key to this house. I think that has some significance. 

We've been "home" for just over 13 years now.  So much has changed.  Family members added through birth and marriage.  Family members lost through divorce and death.  Okay, not really "lost" they've just moved on.  But, the other thing I read within those lines today is how nearly 30 people came together one Sunday and in 4 hours all of our "stuff" was out of the rental house and into this one.  We've added to and purged some of that stuff through the years, but, it's just stuff.  Things. 
But, family.  That's a whole 'nother "thing."  Having them all help with that move meant so much.  Having them all in our lives through the good times and bad has meant even more.  I hope we've all learned the importance of people in our lives this year. If you haven't learned much in 2020, I hope you've learned that.  Learned what's really important.  Because, if not, then you may be doomed to repeat the year.  In other difficult times in my life I've tried to learn the lessons that are being sent through adversity because I don't want to have to repeat the course. 

This is the proper order, folks, and never, ever doubt this:
God/Jesus, Family, Friends.

Significant.
I'm inserting a picture here.  This is one of those pictures that when I first saw it, I just tucked it away with all the others from that time.  Then, a few years later I came across it again.  This time my reaction was different.  This visual just got to me. This is AJ here at the site where we built this house.  This was taken in June 2006, a full year before we started building.  Many more trees were to be cut down eventually, but the driveway had been put through and he was walking away from the house site back towards us at the car. This picture has been in a 5x7 frame and has sat on my desk since I rediscovered it.  I find it very poignant.  He is one of the first 3 people to call this place home. He was the one who kept reminding me it was home.  This at a time when I wondered how he felt that we were uprooting and disrupting his home.  HE always called it home.  Someday, he may be the last of the 3 of us to walk away from here. The first key carrier may be the one to hand over the key to someone else.

I've spent a lot of time "home" this year.  Thank you, God, for family and home.  Thank you, God, for A.J. and Abby's new home.  Bless their home with their love and Yours.

Windshields and Rearview Mirrors

Sorry, I hope you can all find this.  I've copied and pasted from my post the other day and I hope this turns out.  Someone told me they had a hard time reading on their phone.  I have the text as black and the background, I think, as white.  But, in trying to fix that my post from 9-24-20 got really messed up.  I'm trying to re-do it here.
Original - or somewhat original post from 9-24-20

I hesitate to share with you about a project I'm working on.  But, then, I realize by the time my project is done, most of you will have forgotten that I shared this.  I'm really putting myself out there with this one.  The fact is if I decide to scrap the whole thing, my hesitate could become embarrassment.  But, here we go... 

Maybe, like many people this year, I've had so much time on my hands that I felt the need for a project.  Remember a few months ago, I talked about how we all need a plan.  Something to keep us busy.  A new flow for our days.  So here's what I'm working on... I'm working on turning that old blog into a book of some sort.  Obviously it will not be on the best seller list.  If I go through with this, I will be using a "self publishing" company.  I'm reminded of my Great Aunt who turned her journals into a published book of memories in 1994.  Long before self publishing was really a thing and I would guess long before she ever looked at a computer. I'm sure her manuscript was hand written.

As for my book project, we'll just see how this goes. There was a lot going on besides just a 628 mile move and settling in to small town life again.  We were also going through the difficult process of becoming empty nesters. So I feel there's a lot of life, living, adjustments, changes, emotions and that ever present roller coaster that can be tucked within the pages. Again, it won't make the best seller list, and it may only be for A.J. and Abby and future generations - much like my Aunt's book. Fortunately for me, much is already written as the blog itself is there.  However, I'm doing some editing and adding a lot of commentary between some of the blog entries.
As you can imagine, reading through this as I edit and add to it, I find a lot of things that stir my emotions.  I'm reminded of some incidents that I'd forgotten.  Some of the memories reminded me of a few other things that I didn't put in the blog.  Mostly out of respect for another person's privacy.  There are many posts that put a smile on my face.  Today.... as I edited... a few tears welled up.
I'm up to the end of April 2007.  We closed on our old house around that time, and all 3 of us left the house for the last time.  This was the house where a 3 year old became a 20 year old in the blink of an eye.  And as I said, there was a lot of emotion between the lines.  Among my best quotes from those days was this: 
"We 3 don't need a common address to be a family."
A good quote since the month of May that followed that late April closing had the Sanson3 a bit scattered.  AJ was in Milledgeville, GA finishing his semester there.  Thankfully by this time in the blog timeline he had decided to move north and finish his education at Edwardsville.  Jack had filed his retirement papers after the closing and would still have a month - the month of May - before he could be officially retired. The AT&T rules back then were that you had to give 30 days notice for retirement.  But, because he had so much vacation, he could take a couple of weeks off and would travel north to meet the movers at the rental house.  Then he would return after a couple of weeks and work a few more days until his official retirement.  I was the homeless girl still in Conyers and because of Jack's timeline and the school system, I would be there for the month of May to finish the school year.  I had a few offers for a roof over my head from several friends.  The one that I accepted was from our friend, JoAnn, who offered a finished bedroom in her basement for me (and later for us) for those few weeks.  I liked the idea of having some privacy.  Not that I wouldn't have had that at our other friends, but it seemed to be a bit more private than some of the others.  I could have spent a week here and week there, etc, but staying in one place for the whole month, with all else that was going on, seemed best.  Her daughter also came home from college about that time so JoAnn, a newlywed of about 4 weeks, would have a house full. I am still so thankful for all that she and Dave offered.  It was nice to have a private place when needed.  During the week, she and I and Dave were all working, so we really weren't in each other's way.  I made plans each weekend to go somewhere to get out of their hair and give them some weekend privacy.  We had friends who had a lake house and I went there one weekend.  I spent Mother's Day with A.J. at his college apartment - cleaning his college apartment!! LOL  I only spent one weekend with JoAnn and Dave, but we had plans for an adventure together that weekend and headed to a North Atlanta suburb that had great garage sales.  And finally when Jack came, he and I took a mini-weekend trip over Memorial Day to Andersonville and Warner Robbins. Then, it was time to go "home".  As for A.J.'s move, the original plan was for him to join us in Illinois in July, but he eventually decided to move right after Memorial Day, too.
As I was working on this project today, there were tears as my editing and reading reminded me of those last days in our old house.  We closed on a Monday.  A.J. had come the day before for one last visit.  When he walked out and went back to school, there was little emotion.  We had about 7 days or so to vacate after closing.  Jack left the house for the last time on that Thursday morning - with little emotion.  I left on Thursday afternoon after the movers had come and gone - with a lot of emotion.  Here is an excerpt from that blog of 4-27-07:
Unlike the men in my life, when the movers left, I walked through from room to room and sobbed a bit. Looking at the wallpaper borders, the paint colors, seeing empty rooms but imagining the life they all once had. I guess it's harder on us women, because, as the heart and soul of our homes, we put our hearts and souls into them. I was the decorator. I picked out all the wallpaper borders. At some point, over 17 years, I painted every inch of every wall. And since I touched every inch with the heart of a woman wanting to make this house a warm and friendly home for her family and friends, it's harder for me to rip my heart away from those walls. But I did.
And now, focus on the future.  
The windshield really is bigger than the rearview mirror.

A Social Dilemma - Documentary

Just the other day, my daughter-in-law made a suggestion for a documentary/movie:
"The Social Dilemma"
I fully agree with her that everyone needs to see this documentary.  I shared it with some administrators with the Carlinville School system as a documentary that ALL kids should see.  I suggested they add this to their technology curriculum - with a couple of days for follow up discussion.  A couple of them had already heard about it.  
This is found on Netflix.  If you don't have access to Netflix, let me know.  

This documentary focuses on what's happening with Social Media as the big companies like Google, Facebook and others can not only spy on your internet habits, but gear you towards sites, videos, etc. according to your habits and according to where you are searching from.  It's as simple as this... we all know as we type in a search in Google, it will pop up with suggested words to complete our search entry.  Based on where you are located when doing this, you will get different suggestions.  In some areas if you type in Global Warming, it will suggest to finish your search with the word "hoax".  In other areas you'll get a different suggested ending.  All based on the demographics of your area. It will also consider your Social Media viewing habits when making suggestions.  Not only do they watch what you click and browse to, but, they can even go so far as to record how long you may look at a picture on the screen and decide why that captured your interest. So let's examine that for a minute.  If, while browsing through Facebook, I linger too long in viewing or reading about Biden, then future suggestions may send me to "pro-Biden" sites provided what I viewed was in fact pro-Biden.  Or maybe I've lingered a bit or read more on pro-Trump pictures and stories, therefore, it will suggest more pro-Trump sites and news reports. Therefore any sites or news reports on the other candidate that are suggested would be anti-whomever. THIS more than anything - according to this documentary - is what is dividing our country.  We only tend to see the side and sites that feeds our agenda.  Scary isn't it?
(By the way, if you are like me, there are some Facebook friends who are off the charts on political commentary and you can - for as long as you want - "hide" their posts.  It makes for a much more pleasant Facebook experience.  Trust me.)

We all know on some level about how our preferences and internet habits are being monitored.  For example:  In our house we have a desktop computer, a laptop and my iPad.  These are the devices most used for internet browsing, shopping, etc.  So, no matter which one I use - because they all go through the same WiFi router (that info is not in the movie - I just know this) - if I've been browsing for shoes online on the desktop, then the next time I'm on the laptop or iPad, my sidebar ads suggests sites for shoe shopping.  I would assume you've all noticed this in your own homes and browsing.  Jack only uses the laptop in his browsing and sports page reading, which is why Facebook sends me a lot of suggestions for sports news.  But, last year when I was shopping for a strapless bra for the dress I had for AJ & Abby's wedding, he rather enjoyed the ads that popped up on his sidebar during his browsing.  LOL  

The misinformation nightmare paragraph:  My career in educational technology began around 1995. The internet was fairly new, e-mail was fairly new.  But even back then (this is where you find out how smart I really am), I felt strongly that we should be teaching students how to research and decide what information is true and what is not.  There was a lot of misinformation on the internet from the very beginning.  I attended a tech-ed seminar around that time where a presenter demonstrated this.  He used a common (then) search engine for "Martin Luther King".  The first suggested site was something like "dr-king.org".  This would be the one that most students would go to and unbeknownst to them most likely the one that paid the most to the search engine provider to achieve that top spot.  It took us to a site that, while it shared some common know facts about MLK, quickly changed in the next paragraph on how destructive and demonic of a man he was. Further investigation: in those days the webmaster's email was required, small and at the bottom of the page.  This one showed an e-mail such as:  joesmith@thisthatwhatever.com.  So when the presenter of this seminar went to "www.thisthatwhatever.com" on the internet, it was a white supremist group. So that's who owned "dr-king.org" and was sharing this misinformation that most people would believe to be a legitimate and factual information site on Dr. King.  That's when I knew the most important thing we educators needed to teach our students was how to make sure you are looking at a legitimate site for the subject at hand.  Case in point... I ALWAYS use mayoclinic.org when looking for medical information.  Webmd may be okay, but even it is a bit sketchy.  Don't just go willy-nilly and pick some website from a search engine.  Some will just try to sell you the miracle cure for what ails you.  Plus, so many people don't realize how easy it is for a web link to say one thing and look legitimate and take you somewhere else.  Here... try this one:  www.waltdisneyworld.com

This is why if you get an e-mail from some company... your bank, your credit card, eBay, whatever - with their very own logo - that says "hey we need you to log into your account and fix something...", then provide you a link in the e-mail....  DON'T do that!  If you want to check it out, call the bank/credit company, etc.  OR go away from the e-mail, open your internet browser and go directly their website.  And you really shouldn't even do that, but if makes you feel better... whatever.  If you don't understand that last sentence, then delete the dad-gum e-mail and move on with your life.  I used to tell teachers way back when that I - yes I - can create an e-mail just like that and link it to my own database to gather their log in information. I remember having to tell one teacher - who got an e-mail from "eBay" and went out and changed her password - to come to MY computer, log into eBay and change it NOW.  My computer was the only one in the building that could go around the firewall and allow legitimate access to the real eBay. If you can't log into eBay from your classroom school computer because our firewall blocks it, what makes you think you can do so from an e-mail????  

Isn't it a good thing I use my powers for good and not evil?

The saddest part of this documentary is how quickly the suicide rate has increased, especially in young girls.  The timing validates a correlation to how Social Media interactions make them feel.  Not enough "likes" on your post.  The bullying and comments made by others.  Please, please, please parents of young people remember this:  A: They don't need a cell phone until it becomes a convenience and comfort for YOU the parent.  Like when they are high school aged and starting to branch out with their friends occasionally on their own.  And B:  they shouldn't have ANY kind of Social Media until they are 18+ and/or out of high school.  They are not emotionally ready to handle it.  We all know many adults who are not emotionally ready either.  So what makes you think a 12 year old can?  If you already do this and they have an account - YOU can monitor their time and information.  YOU!  Find out how and do it.
I guess that was the SoapBox paragraph.

Phones are another issue. They have become "Digital Pacifiers" for many people, especially the 40 & under crowd. Someone tags them on Facebook - it dings - they look!  Someone sends them an e-mail - it dings - they look!  Someone tweets - it dings - they look! And sometimes this is through a wristwatch they wear and it and dings, dings, dings while they are sitting with the people they love the most!  Which is more important?  These are notifications that can all be turned off.  I don't understand why the younger and supposedly more tech savvy group doesn't know they can turn off or monitor all those notifications.  Your phone should be a tool for your use, not something that manipulates your time.  

Now, having said that, my phone is near or beside me at all times. Why?  1. It is the first phone number on my mom's CareLink (little emergency push button thing around her neck).  2. I have a child out there in the world and although he's 33 with a lifelong partner who now outranks me, I always want to be available should either of them need anything. 
But, I use it as a phone.  (occasional camera, calendar - that syncs with my e-mail app) but rarely as an internet device.  As for the phone part, I have specific ringtones for my family and a couple of close friends.  So the generic ring, I can ignore if I chose.  The only other notifications I get are text messages. But, again, I have specific tones assigned to the most important people in my life and can ignore the generic ding.  I also have it set for Do Not Disturb between 10 p.m and 8 a.m. EXCEPT for people who are listed as my favorites.  (Including CareLink).  After watching this documentary, I adjusted a few more settings. If you want instructions on making your own notification modifications, check the website for your specific model.  It's out there... be careful.

A couple more things that drive me crazy on how people use the internet. Parents should NOT be posting pictures of their newborn babies or toddlers in tubs with exposed... well you know.  THAT my friends IS child pornography and I'm amazed at how many people don't realize that.  It is the legal definition of child porn and it doesn't matter if the parent is the one posting it.  Number 2:   If you want to look at reviews for a specific product before making a major purchase - please don't go to the product manufacturers site to look at reviews.  Do you really think they'll share the bad ones???  Find an independent site for those reviews. But, find more than one and you'll still have to maybe use your own brain because sadly even those reviews can be monitored and adjusted.  Especially if the company pays enough. 

I hope if you watch this documentary you don't jump off a roof with a gloom and doom attitude.  This media browsing / "Big Brother monitoring" can all be adjusted or fixed by legislation.  Again, this is where you'll find out how smart I am, as many years ago, I would often say the internet is moving faster than the legislators can keep up and regulate it.  But, it needs to be regulated and quickly.  Now having said that, there have been many internet policies created.  But not enough, not fast enough and we need many, many more. 

Documentary notes:
Documentary glossary:  AI = Artificial Intelligence.
There are 2 industries that refer to their customers as "users" - illegal drugs and the internet. 

Got ya!!!

 Now, click here: back to post

to go back. 

Mom's 90th Birthday

I found this may be the best way to share the pictures and video for all my non-Facebook friends.

I hope this works!   Enjoy!!

Our local Shell stations in town will put up greetings when requested.   Some guy drove by and told her the sign was wrong - it should say "60".

Our friend, Angie makes great cakes!

Yes, my sister-in-law, Tina, repurposed her 60 tiara. 

Zoom time with all the grandkids and great grands.  

Getting ready for the parade. 

Mom and her 3 "babies".

 

GA & IL = GAIL

I'm working on a project that has me diving into my old blog "The Leef Blower".  Circa:  2008-2011. Don't try to find it.  You'll get ads for "leaf blowers".  They just don't know how to spell it right.
The Leef Blower was a blog I did during our Georgia to Illinois move 13 years ago.  I believe I mentioned it in an earlier blog here.  But, in my diving into this particular project I'm going back thru all the posts and even though I should just be doing a copy and paste right now for this project, I find myself stopping and being caught up reading some of the posts.  I think I also mentioned before how raw my emotions were sometimes during those days.  In all this, I'm finding little stories and events that I forgot about. 

The beginnings of the blog were about a month before we put our house on the market.  The stories traveled on thru the process of dropping the price, selling, closing, moving out and all the emotions and memories of a house where we raised a little boy from the age of 3 to just beyond his 20th birthday.  There was a memory that I'd forgotten when in my final hours in the old house I called AJ and told him I thought he should have one final call from his "home".  His brilliant response was, "won't I have another home someday?"  Of course I've always remembered another conversation I had with him in the middle of all the move chaos when I asked him how he felt about us selling his childhood home.  His response that time was "Wherever you are is my home."   Have I ever mentioned how amazingly intelligent our son is?
Tucked in this old blog were memories of final farewells to friends and acquaintances.  There were a few events and things that I'd forgotten about. Names I'd forgotten about.  The process of AJ trying to decide to transfer to SIU-E or stay in Georgia to continue college.  Thankfully, he chose the former. But that's where there were a lot of emotions between the lines.
Then, Illinois.  And with that came the building process, our adventures at the rental house, AJ's entry into the small town life with family all around, another moving day, unpacking, settling in, my job hunting and the first few years of life in Carlinville.  As I settled in and started to wander about the town, there were encounters with people I hadn't seen in many, many years and people that I didn't recognize.  Eventually I stopped blogging around 2011.  I tried again for a while in 2013, but stopped again.  But it's those post-Illinois blogs that caught my attention today.

AJ was at SIU-E.  So many blogs mentioned him and his friends popping up here for a visit.  Sometimes just as they passed thru. Sometimes, Jack and I going to Edwardsville, or me and AJ meeting up for shopping. It seems anytime I was in that area shopping, AJ came along.  Sometimes one or two of his friends would join us. 
I also forgot that he worked a day or two at American Eagle at St. Clair Square before he got his job valet parking in St. Louis.  I'd forgotten that he was working at SIU-E on Landon's first birthday party in 2010 that we had here at our house due to the numbers of invitees and Michelle and Doug's tiny first house.  AJ called after work to see if anyone would still be here if he drove up from Edwardsville.  Okay, particularly would LANDON still be there.  He would.  AJ and a friend drove up.  So that translated to a happy AJ and happy Landon.  They really were the best of buddies.  I have a lot of photos and videos to back that up!

There was another time when he and a friend were passing thru and called to see if I had a chocolate cake mix.  I did.  But, I also had a brownie mix. Which saved me the icing process. That would do!  So I baked, they stopped.  Another happy time.   At the end of almost all those posts I commented on how precious those times were as I knew they would become fewer and farther between as he moved on. I thanked God for those days. I still do.

There were a few blogs that made commentary on the world events at that time.  But, since I won't open that political can of worms here, that's all on that.

2010 - Was a very interesting year for me.  I left a job in May that I'd only been doing for 3 months, but it was one that took everything from me.  Until I re-read some of the blogs from that year, I didn't realize how long the emotional trauma had lingered into the year.  The Reader's Digest version can be found in a response I made to Kelley that year during one of our conversations about all this... "Bullies will do that to you."  I hope my loved ones never have any work experiences like that.  Thankfully about a year later that was all followed up with the best job ever at the high school.
One lesson learned in the years surrounding our move and resettling in the Midwest was that I focused on where we were going, not what we were leaving behind. After all, the rear view mirror is smaller than the windshield for a reason.  I also learned that life is truly like a roller coaster.  When you are on the ride, remember 3 things:  1.  Hold on tight to the person next to you. 2. Try not to vomit.  and 3.  Every once in a while - SCREAM!

Do you know what the postal abbreviations for Georgia and Illinois are?  GA IL