The "I" word and other plans....

"It's Tuesday, but I'm not ironing today."  Now you may not understand that comment, but about 70 years ago that comment might have brought an audible gasp at the Tuesday afternoon church lady meeting. To salvage my reputation, I could at least say I did the wash yesterday (Monday).  "Wash" is what we now call laundry.  And for my mid-western readers, wash does not have an "r".   But, I really did the laundry yesterday.  The hamper was brimming a bit.  Oh, we still had clean clothes and clean underwear, but it's always good to keep ahead of the "wash".

While I was doing that, I had to smile that I was actually doing it on a Monday.  This reminded me of the plan that somehow got lost on women as they entered the work force in the 60's and 70's. The plan was how homemakers were to manage their homes.  I use the term "homemaker" instead of "housewife".  Never liked that one.  After all, women were not and are not married to their houses.  They were/are making a home.  But, the homemaking routine in days of old was this:  Monday is washday; Tuesday, ironing; Wednesday, mending; Thursday, marketing; Friday, baking; Saturday, cleaning; Sunday, church.  

Anyone out there still run their household like this?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?
Anyone on major Covid shutdown realize that it is Tuesday?  Unless of course, you don't get around to reading this until Wednesday, or Thursday, or.....   well just look somewhere on whatever device you are using to read this.  It will tell you what day it is.

Anyone iron today? After all, it's Tuesday. My southern friends who knew me when I was in the middle of my "homemaking" days and our child raising, full time job, hockey, softball, tennis and PTA schedules - is that they know I really did iron sometimes.  Yes, they got a chuckle out of it.  Yes they pointed out that it was a 4 letter word so we just referred to it as the "I" word.  Translation:  Jack had to wear nice shirts at one point in his career, I don't like wrinkles and I hate hanger bumps.  You know, the bumps the hanger puts on the shoulder of your sweaters and such.  (Hint for busy moms:  A curling iron can work those out in the morning while you are getting yourself together.)

My mom had dish towels embroidered with whimsical little bonnet ladies and each one with the day and "duty" for the day.  So I was aware of this notion about the management plan for years.  My mom worked full time and had 3 kids. "The plan" didn't work well for her.  

But, I'm thinking these days, maybe we all need a plan. I think I eluded to this a blog or two ago, when I mentioned that we all need to find something that helps us flow through the days. What I didn't mention - and removed from the original first post of this blog - is that I occasionally have situational anxiety.  Sometimes bouts of depression.  The latter can last a day or two, or just an hour or two.  As for the anxiety, there are little pink pills to help with that. (take as needed)  My levels of anxiety and depression were ramped up a few months ago, but have settled a bit.  I have friends and family who have been on this roller coaster of emotions, too.  But, the "mullygrubs", as I call them, rear their ugly little heads more on the days where there is no plan.  Tuesdays are usually good as it's lunch with Mom and Paul day; then grocery shopping for us and mom.  So on Tuesday, there's no time for the mullygrubs.  Also included today is this typing and editing session.  But, as the thoughts pop in my head, I write when the urge hits.  But, no ironing today.
Last week my mom had 2 routine appointments and I had one.  A good week.  No real mullygrubs then either. There was no time for that.  So I wondered... maybe we all need a plan.  Something to look forward to or something to do every day.  Those of you still working every day might be doing a little better with this.  But, with all that's "out there", I'm sure your depression and anxiety has been stirred up a bit, too.  So we need a plan.  Something to look forward to or something to do beyond the daily work and all the household chores.  Find that flow.  Make plans to visit with friends.  Social distance on your patio, in your garage, or even a Zoom cocktail hour.  So let's learn from the wise old women of yesteryear and make a plan.  The outdoor patio visit can be Friday night.  The Zoom meetings on Tuesday.  Masks on and grocery shopping on Thursday.  Catch up on Netflix, etc. or recorded TV shows on Wednesday.  Saturday, mini-trip or adventure day, such as, fishing,or boating, or a drive to a local State Park or another safe and open touristy place nearby. You'll probably need another trip back to the grocery somewhere in all this, too. Monday can still be wash day.  After all, clean undies is a must.  While some people would tell you that people "back in the old days" had just as much depression and such as we do these days, they just "didn't talk about it", I would respond: "maybe".  But they couldn't wallow in the mullygrubs.  There was no time for that.  They had plans and things to do.
They also never forgot Sunday church.  So don't forget Sunday... church online.  In your jammies, no less!!

Reading Material

Welcome to my blog.  This is my first blog entry since going more public and inviting more friends and family to take a peek.

Note: Tablets and smartphones may have a different look, but you can drag down and there should be a button to click on "View web version".

I hope you began as suggested - with the first blog and then continued reading in date order.  So you'd have a little background into "Gail the Blogger". 

The second and third posts became more about Covid than I wanted them to be.  I wanted this to be more of an upbeat blog.  But, the fact is, these are the times we are living in and this is the situation we deal with everyday.  So I suppose some of what I'll have to say in the foreseeable future will be related to this.  But, I hope that I can find more upbeat and positive commentary on the subject and occasionally find something completely different to comment on.

I read recently that during this time we should all just find our "flow".  Find something new to do or something we like to do, but just never had time for.  Some people have taken up gardening or knitting/crocheting.  Many have already put together several jigsaw puzzles.  Some have taken up more walking and home exercise.  Some have done more reading or more binge TV watching.  Some have discovered Zoom and have regular cocktail parties online with friends. Many other new hobbies and maybe a few new passions have been discovered. Everyone got your house cleaned out?   I hope you have found your flow.  Writing just happens to be mine.  It always has been, but I just didn't always have the time. 
So I hope to continue with my flow here and I will try to write something at least twice a week.  I hope you take the time to take a peek. Some things will be long.  Some short.  Some may just be a thought for the day.  As mentioned in my "news release" if you want me to send you an e-mail when there's a new blog, just let me know.  This particular program has a way for you to sign up through them, but I didn't like that it was so cumbersome in the beginning for you and I didn't like how the e-mail was structured when sent.  Yes, I did a lot of testing.  So I decided to do it this way instead.  If you just want to try for a while, you can always let me know anytime to unsubscribe you. I won't be offended either way. 

But, back to the "flow" we are all supposed to find these days.  I mentioned people reading more and this blog is one of those things you may want to read.  But, I want to address the real readers.  You know, the ones who are experts on all the Great American Novels.  Sometimes I think those deep novel and #1 Best Seller book readers tend to scoff at people like me, who prefer to read in shorter snippets. Like the fact that I enjoy Reader's Digest may mean that I'm intellectually inferior. I also like newspapers and magazines.  Oh, dopey me.  But, I'm not fond of all newspaper articles or magazines.  What I read has to be of some interest to me. And, lately there's a lot of things that I just avoid reading.  You know the stuff I'm talking about.  So here I am asking if you'd like to occasionally read my short little or longer snippets of information and hope that sometimes it will interest you.  Or at least give you a different perspective on things.  But, more than anything, I just hope to put a smile on your face sometimes.  Give you a break from life.  Which is why I was a bit distressed when I realized #2 and #3 were about Covid.  But, that's life these days.  What my blogs won't do is raise your IQ.  Nor will you get any hint of how I vote.  
As for me and reading... I have read books.  Believe it or not.  Not Moby Dick.  Not War and Peace. But a few that were a bit shorter than those.  And I have read one very good book.  In fact, I'm currently working on my 3rd and 4th time through this book in 2 different formats at the same time.  Can you guess the book?
The Bible.
It's not an easy read. Some of it is quite interesting and some is a real snooze.  But I got through it the hard way - once.  The 2nd time, I found an online resource that examines each book with illustrations and narrations.  Go to You Tube and search for "The Bible Project"  You can add specific books in your search if you want, like "The Bible Project Jeremiah", etc.  I'm doing that run through a 2nd time, and at the same time, I'm doing an online study with St. Louis Cardinals pitcher, Adam Wainwright.  You can find his Bible study group on Twitter or sign up for e-mail here: Walking with Waino
Just thought in these tough times, you might find comfort in this particular book, but it's up to you.

What I hope to gain from all this, besides closer relationships with God and Jesus, is to just be a kinder, gentler more accepting person.  Try to be less judgmental of people.  Oh my, wouldn't we have a lot less issues in this world right now if we could all do that???  I think some people - myself included sometimes - forget that there is ONE Judge.  ONE.
I'm trying to be a better person.  I can't always help what I think, but I'm finding that maybe sometimes I just shouldn't say what I'm thinking. (Or write it).  And if I stop saying it out loud and/or writing it, then maybe I'll stop thinking these things in my heart.  All this might just make me that kinder, nicer person.  

The other day I had a friend who was a bit annoyed with a client. I told her that "God loves her (the client) just as much as He loves you."  We all need to remember that.  This friend understood and agreed wholeheartedly.  Then I said," After all He loves the bitter old [bittys] just as much as the sweet little old ladies".  Then we both wondered which category we'd end up in as we begin to age more and more.
I think - somewhere in the middle. After all, if I was a sweet little old lady there wouldn't be much fun in this blog sometimes now would there?

Just for us.

Did you notice on that last blog on Covid-19, there were more facts than feelings. 
There's a good reason.  I just can "go there" right now with my feelings. So I won't.

My morning routine. I get out of bed and go to the recliner.  Like many people, I spent years, jumping out of bed, hopping into the shower or otherwise starting the day.  I believe we used to say we "hit the ground running."  Never - rarely - did I get to go from one rest mode to another.  This is what I wanted in my retirement years.  I still enjoy that part of my day.  I get my iPad, read the Bible verse of the day.  Check e-mail and do my daily Bible study that comes from that.  Then, I have about 4 "brain" things that I do on my iPad to keep brain fresh.  Word puzzles, solitaire games.  But, if I have a busy day ahead, I can always adjust.  Lately, there have been no adjustments.  This morning, I thought to myself... is this the day I go completely bonkers?  

I have a few little projects around the house to keep me busy.  Things most people wouldn't consider projects or even bother with.  Eventually, after several days or even weeks will go by, then, the hamper is full and it's time to dust and mop a few things again.  Even though no one but Jack and I will see my results of the latter, it's still a good thing to do.  And besides, haven't we always been told to take care of ourselves first.  Put your oxygen mask on first.  So this is new to me.  To do all these things just for us.

Just for us.

I have another major project that I'm considering.  More about that someday.  And, maybe today I will finally get around to checking on that last refund of one of our trips that was cancelled.  So far all has gone well with those.

Then, Jack will be home for the weekend.  Two days - just for us.

I like us, very much.

Covid-19

Might as well put this one out there.  Get this out of the way right up front.  After all, it's the reason I have extra time to write and blog these days.

It is a horrible subject though.  I know someone over 90 and someone nearly 90. Both have said they've never seen anything like this in their lives.  At their age, they were born in the depression, saw Pearl Harbor and World War II, Vietnam, political assassinations, 9/11.... but this.... shaking their heads.

Because of my son's job, we started to see the writing on the wall in late February.  Panic took over a bit for me.  When I say panic, I had visions of me in future weeks, handing over one last can of green beans to my family so they could share that one little can for their whole day's meals.  Grocery stores would be bare.  Thankfully, that hasn't been the case. And...  I had toilet paper!  But, the first time I went to the store when we could see what was coming, I stocked up on a few canned goods, meat that I could put in the freezer, and cheap paper towels just in case the t.p. did run out.  It hasn't.  And as you know, it's back on the shelves.  And thankfully, the grocery stores have things.  Not always just the exact thing, but that's getting better.  In my daily prayers, I thank God for the people who have kept this country running and pray for their health. 

After my panic settled a bit, I, like most people started cleaning.  Although that actually started for me in January.  Before all this, AJ and Abby had bought a house.  They moved in early January and because of that, I decided I could dismantle the basement a bit.  It was the sports collectibles museum in the house and now AJ could take some of this things to his own home.  After that, I put a fresh coat of paint on the walls.  In the middle of that, Jack's work shut down a bit and he came home for 2-1/2 months.  We downsized the basement stock even more.  He even cleaned out some of his stock pile of 40-50 year old newspapers and magazines.  We took walks, we took the boat out a couple of times and he fished while I read.  He became the "meal planner".  Or, maybe the co-meal planner.  We cancelled four vacations for this year, and I helped decide to cancel my class reunion that I was also helping to plan for September. 

Jack has been back at work for almost 2 months now.  I had the garage sale that I originally was hoping to do in early May.  But, it was late June instead and was between Covid surges and successful.   Lots of things cleaned out.

In between all that, I've had my mullygrub days. Many, many mullygrub days.  The good days were when we'd see AJ and Abby.  We did that a few times, here or there.  Mother's Day, Father's Day and a couple of other times.  That does a Mama's heart good.  We've Zoomed with our Georgia friends a couple of times - decided together to cancel the one vacation that was with them.  

I thank God everyday, that we have been healthy.  That our family has stayed healthy and that all of them are able to continue in jobs.  AJ and Abby have both been able to work from home.  As they both did a lot of that anyway.  

On Tuesdays, I still go to my mom's for lunch. My brother comes, too. She's stayed close to home.  We decided it would be good for her to get out when she had mail to take as she could just drop it in the box outside the Post Office. She could pick up her own meds as her pharmacy has a drive thru.  But, other than that, she's stayed in.  When the weather was nicer, her 3 good friends would come and they'd sit out in the garage for a visit. 
On my Tuesday visits, I get her Walmart list and my own and off I go. With my mask. When Jack was home he would go with me.  He was very good at watching the arrows on the floor and made sure I went down the aisles in the right direction. Now, I'm on my own again.

Jack has had 1 hair cut and I've had 2. My sister in law is the beautician. I'm glad I don't do color and can do good enough without a perm.  I can do my own nails if I choose, pluck what needs to be plucked, and I've saved a ton of money on make up, hair spray and such.  I guess I'm pretty low maintenance.  Never have felt like I was overly vain about things.

Well, that's at least most of my story.  Everyone has a story in all this.  Everyone has a different set of circumstances, challenges, blessings.  Everyone's reality of all this is different.  So that's my facts. Or most of them. What about the feelings?  I'm scared as everyone is. Mostly afraid of the unknown.  I look at movies, TV, social media and see places that I wonder - will we ever be able to go again.  I'm concerned that at any time someone I love or I, myself, could contract this virus and become very ill or just not recover.  But, all I can do is try my best.  We social distance, stay home a lot, wear our masks, wash our hands, do all the things we are supposed to do.  That's all we can really do.  And pray.  I pray a lot.  I follow a Bible study each day.  And I try to only see the good things on TV and social media.  I find that I feel better and have fewer mullygrubs if I don't watch the news and scroll past many things on social media.  But, I still look enough to see the numbers sometimes.  I avoid ALL political rants.  ALL!!!!  

In the beginning we heard a lot of concern for high school kids.  The seniors especially.  No prom for them.  No real graduation ceremony.  Everyone was concerned for them.  I just wanted to scream... people are dying!!! These things are not the worse.  Now I understand for these kids it was a great tragedy for them.  If I was the parent of one of them, I'd feel that way, too.  But, I want to tell them, if no prom and no graduation ceremony are the worse things that ever happen to you in your life.... then you will have a great life.  But, sadly for most, this will not be the worse thing to happen to them.

Now I am concerned for the little ones.  And their parents.  A few of them are near and dear to my heart as you know.  How will all this affect them going forward.  How is it affecting them now?  What will the school plan be?  Again, everyone's situation is different. Everyone has real struggles or true blessings.

I prayed the same prayer over and over each morning and evening for many, many weeks.  I still pray daily and often, just not all those same words.  God knows what they are.  He knows what's in my heart.  Please let him know what's in yours.   

 

Here We Go Again

We have lived back in Illinois for just a little over 13 years now. Back when we were in the process of moving from Georgia, I created a blog.  At that time in 2006/2007, blogs were a new internet thing and it was a good way for me to keep our family in Illinois informed on how the move was going, where we were in the process, etc.  After we moved, I continued it as it became a way to share with our friends back in Georgia on how we were doing as we settled back into small town life in Illinois around family and such. Eventually I just kind of stopped blogging as there just wasn’t much more news to tell.  And to be honest, I realized only a couple of my Georgia friends were still reading.  I decided I could just e-mail them if they wanted to know how things were going.

A few years ago, I went back and reread some of those old blogs. Oh. My. Goodness. The emotions that were in there were something else.  A bit raw.  Maybe not so much for the reader but for me there was a lot going on. I could see my emotions of those days “between the lines.”  Was it the right choice for us to move?  Absolutely!  Never a doubt before, during or since.  But, the hardest part was waiting to see if AJ would decide to move north to finish his education or was he going to stay in Georgia.  It was quite a process.  And I know a tough choice for him. Thankfully, he made the choice to come north.  And thankfully, life has worked out very well for him. But, as I read those old blogs a few years ago, I got the idea to begin a new blog. This was around 2013. By then I was working outside the home and busy, but still an empty nester.  For whatever reason I thought I could take the time to blog a few times a week.  After all, I sometimes had thoughts and casual observations about life and I enjoy writing.  But, that quickly ended after just a few blogs. What was I thinking?  I had no time for this either.  You see, I tend to be a perfectionist when it comes to the editing process.  So that takes time.  Plus, for that particular blog, I only shared with a very few people that I was even doing it.  I urged them not to share with others without my OK.  But, here’s the thing (and I don’t consider myself a “writer” – no novels in my brain) but I know that part of the writing process is to really open up.  You can’t inhibit what you write based on your audience.  It’s like young children and their “inventive spelling” in the early grades.  I fully support that process for them.  If you give a young child a piece of paper and say – “write a story about your summer vacation… and ALL the words must be spelled correctly and punctuated correctly” – well… I don’t think you’ll get the real story.  They would be quite inhibited.  There wouldn’t be much they could tell you with those guidelines.  But, if you leave out those mandates of perfection – well, you’ll get a great story.  The full story.  Maybe parts of the story mom and dad wouldn’t want them to share.  (heehee)  You’ll also have a wonderful time trying to figure out words like “aspshle”  (especially) or “wundrfl” as they write about their “vukashun” in “minsoda”.  You figure it out.  So… where does that bring me now….. wide open!

Lately, I’ve felt the urge to write again. Maybe that urge is coming from a higher power. Or maybe from within.  Fact is, this is not my original draft.  That higher power, I feel, has already guided me.  (just heard a bird chirp – validation?)  Will I share everything in my life?  No.  Will I hold back on some things?  Yes.  Will I spell all my words correctly?  I hope so.  Will I use proper grammar and sentence structure?  Probably not.  (I mean, my gosh, I have a niece who’s an English teacher so I'm sure I've already blown it)  I WON’T discuss politics - for sure.  I won’t share other people’s privacy - for sure.  Will I discuss God and maybe quote scriptures?  Yep!  This is my journey.  This is my life.  This is Gail trying to make sense of Gail.  Gail trying to make sense or rather interpret things or people in the world and of the world.  But, don’t worry, I probably won’t share all my thoughts and thought processes, because that would scare you into calling the authorities, the “white coats” as it were. 

My first blog about the move was titled “The Leef Blower”.  Yes, that was cute wasn’t it?  My second one that I tried a few years ago, was “Looking Up and Out My Window”. (This one!) Because where my desktop computer sits, I have a window to my right.  It’s not at eye level but a bit higher, so all I can do is look up and out, and I see trees and sky.  But, it’s still a good title, so I decided to revive it.  I deleted all the old posts from 2013.  Remember I limited my audience then, and I still feel the need to keep some of what I posted then, private.  But, with all that’s going on these last few months in this world, about all I can do these days is look up and out my window.  It’s been suggested that we should use this down time to reflect on ourselves and what’s important in life.  Maybe find what we can contribute to the world.  So, I decided to write.  Share with friends and family.  But this time, share with a lot more people and not hold back.  Except for the aforementioned guidelines.  This is a place to record my observations.  Look if you want, don’t look, but I hope you will sometimes take a peek with me.  Maybe I can bring some humor into your day.  Maybe just remind you that God is in control.  Maybe just tell you I had yet another episode of walking into a room and forgetting why.  Maybe you’ll find in one of my blogs that I’ve been where you are and can share some perspective. Those of you who get emails from me know that I’m a bit verbose sometimes. “Detailed” as my friend Beth calls it.  I will be here, too. But, sometimes maybe short and sweet. 

This is where I have to come with a full disclosure though.   This is not the original "first post" to this new blog.  I had one that opened myself up just a bit more than I felt comfortable with.  I shared with a few very close friends and they were supportive.  But, I decided that it was more than I wanted to share just yet.  No worries, I'm okay, but there were some really raw emotions in it and I'm more private than that.

But, what I will share is something that I've learned in the past few years.  I share this because maybe, just maybe some of you have similar situations and need to hear this.   Sometimes you will have to forgive the people who have hurt you, even though there will never be an apology.  And that is even harder when the people who hurt you don’t realize or don’t think they hurt you, so obviously they don’t feel the need to apologize.  You have to go on knowing the acknowledgement and apology will never happen.  Never.
And before you start speculating... it wasn't Jack.  Jack is the reason I've been able to move past some things.
Second lesson of the first original blog... When times are good, it is so easy to praise God and thank Him and rejoice in the good times.  But, when times are bad, you have to know, believe and trust, it’s the same God.  He’s still there.  I know – believe me, I know – when you are in the middle of the toughest of times, it’s hard to have that faith that He’s got this.  But, you must believe… He does. Lynyrd Skynryd said 2 very important things in "Simple Man".  1.  "Troubles will come and they will pass."  And 2. “don’t forget, Son, there is Someone up above…”

Ladies and gentlemen… let’s get through this together.  Be kind. Love each other. That was, after all, God’s purpose for putting us all here… together.

PS:  You can comment on any of my blogs.  I wish you would.  Feedback is good.  Criticism is good. But, political statements WILL be deleted.