Can we be thankful in 2020? Yes! We can!!

'tis the season to be Thankful.   I am !!!!!
Yes, 2020 has been a bit of a challenge for us all. And when I get sad about all that has been taken from us this year, I remind myself how blessed we have been, as well.  Jack & I and AJ & Abby and our extended families have so much to be thankful for.  I can only pray that our blessings continue. Most of our family members have been working throughout this year and the ones who couldn't work all the time were able to manage and make adjustments. So, I'm thankful.

Yes, some family members on the Sanson side have been sick with Covid recently.  But thankfully, all are recovered or seem to be recovering well.  No hospitalizations were necessary.  So I'm thankful. 

My mom has stayed safe and even her on-going health issues have not caused any troubles or hospital stays for her.  So, I'm thankful.

Emotionally, this has been a rough year for many.  And I'm one of them.  I've gone through initial anxiety, to doing well and then back to anxiety again recently. About 2 months ago, I began to have emotional issues with "the mask".  I can assure you I'm past this, but for a while, I felt like a bit of a leper.  Sometimes I'd avoid going to a store because I didn't want to wear it.  I felt as if we had become the faceless society from a 1950's science fiction movie. And ironically it is science that confirms the safety of wearing masks. I've witnessed what I can only assume are successful results of mask wearing. I thought people who were complaining that their civil rights were being violated when told they have to wear them were a bit radical and whiney.  I still believe that.  I want to ask them, when was the last time you got in a car and didn't buckle up?  But, I also didn't want to open that can of worms.  I mean, that could start a new revolution and Ralph Nader is too old to fight them anymore. (Yes, just Googled that.  He's still alive.  He's 86).  After all, over 50 years ago Ralph convinced the government we needed to wear seat belts and after a while it became *gasp* the law!  No way of knowing how many lives have been saved by that. And, yet, I still don't want masks to become the law like seat belts. Just something we need to do for a while.  I've gotten past my phobia.  And, I'm thankful.

Lately, even though the Covid cases are rising, there is good news on the vaccine horizon.  I pray the good news continues.  Pray for success.  And I'm so thankful.  And we all should be thankful for the people who volunteered for the testing of these vaccines.  And we should pray everyday for healthcare workers, first responders, all the people who have kept our country running.  We should pray for people who have lost so much.  We need to continue to call on God to guide us all, keep us all safe and comfort and heal those who are suffering.

But, then, we should probably pray that every year.  Not just this year.  And everyday.  Not just this day.  And be thankful.

But, there are more emotions:  I shed some form of tears daily. Daily.  Not bawling and sobbing, but just tears that I have to fight off. No, it's not PMS.  That's so far back in my rear view mirror I barely remember it.  The big M is back there somewhere, too.  So this can only be attributed to the emotional roller coaster of 2020.  Sometimes happy tears.  Sometimes sad tears. Sometimes the tears are triggered by a song on CarPod.  Sometimes it's one of those dang Hallmark movies.  Sometimes it's just a memory - especially now as the Holiday season is upon us.  About a week ago, I caught a rerun of "Friends".  One of the very early ones when "Ben" is born.  Oh. My. Lord.  TEARS!!  But, then, I remember after AJ was born, one of the other young mothers in one of our playgroups commented how after you have a baby, you can't watch a baby being born on TV or in a movie without shedding a few tears.  I knew she was right then, because I'd already experienced that. It's still true. Of course, there was a time that even through the tears of watching a scene like that unfold on a screen, I would think to myself.. "yeah, he's cute now, but he'll be 20 someday."  You can do your own math on when that was. We survived those early 20's and I don't feel that way anymore. To be honest, I thought he was quite charming throughout that time, too.  Now the "baby born" tears could be because I realize that by the Grace of God, the time is coming closer for AJ to experience that for himself. 

And, I'm so thankful. 

It's been a rough year.  It's not over.  But, we have SO much to be thankful for, people.  So much.  According to CarPod and Mahalia Jackson, "He's got the whole world in His Hands." 
I find that quite comforting.  And, I'm thankful.

For my fellow "boomers", I'll leave you with this.  Remember as Thursday arrives, you need to remember 2 things.
1. Turkeys can't fly.  God will be your witness to that.
2. You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant.

I love you all.  I thank God you are all in my life.

 

Christmas Ghosts or 'tis the Season

 
Christmas 2019

THE GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS PAST
The earliest Christmas I remember was one year when I got a small kitchen set.  This wasn't the full size.  The refrigerator was probably about 15" tall at the most.  There was also a small sink and small oven.  I was maybe 4-5 years old.  I'm not really sure if I remember that Christmas, or I just think I do because there is a picture of me with that set.  I do remember playing with it a lot.  I also remember one Christmas when I got a "Tiny Thumbelina" doll.  It might have been the same year.  I know it was close in the timeframe.  She had a wind up knob on her back.  You wound her up, laid her on her back or stomach and she would roll over like a real baby.  Again, there is photo evidence, so I don't know if I remember that Christmas or the picture brings the memory.
I also remember as a preteen getting the coolest mod watch.  It had a few different colored leather straps and you could snap the watch face into them depending on which cool 70's mod outfit you were wearing.  Again... a photo of me wearing it, but also modeling the one piece jumpsuit jammies that my Grandma made for me.
I remember in my early-years Christmas mornings my dad would go get my Grandma Leefers.  She'd come and watch us open our Santa gifts.  Then, eventually we'd take her to my aunt and uncle who lived in Carlinville and we'd go to my Grandma and Grandpa Lancaster's house for dinner and a family gathering.  My mom had 2 brothers and they and their wives and kids would all come.  At least that's what I remember.  Apparently her oldest brother didn't come, just his wife and kids.  He always worked Christmas Day and could make a lot of money by doing so.  Sorry that he didn't understand which was more important.
As we got older and older those family Christmases sort of dissipated as some of the older cousins married and had another family to accommodate for the holidays.  I remember specifically one of the younger cousins lamenting one year prior to the holidays that she just wished we could have Christmas like we used to.  Don't we all?
Eventually one of my aunts would have a family potluck gathering a few weeks before Christmas.  She'd hire someone to play Santa and he'd bring gifts for the little ones.  We didn't get to participate when we were in Georgia, but once we moved to Illinois we attended a few.  Sometimes our hockey tickets would conflict.  It seems like about every weekend in December there was always something.  Sometimes a few somethings.
Things change.
When Jack and I got married and before AJ, we spent a couple of years trying to manage both families.  Both my sisters-in-law's families celebrated Christmas Eve, so it made it easy for my mom to have us all Christmas Day.  Eventually, and before AJ, we worked it out and started spending Christmas Eve with the Sanson side and Christmas Day with the Leefers side.  That went very well for many, many years.  Jack, AJ & I would always drive up from Georgia to be with our families for the holidays.  I think some people didn't understand why we wouldn't want to be in our own home for those days, but, unlike a family member that I mentioned above, we realized a long time ago that Christmas was about family.  I wanted to give AJ the whole family and cousin experience when it came to Christmas.  The houseful of noise and chaos that the 3 of us would never have had in Georgia.
On the Sanson side he was sort of in the middle.  15 years younger than his youngest first cousin and the other 2 were in their early 20's.  Then, when the next generation came along he was 6 years old.  Although he had a great relationship with the younger ones as they grew. And those family Christmases were also full of noise and chaos. 
On the Leefers side, he had a few older cousins who were 9, 8 and 4 years older than him, but another one that was just one month older.  I found a great sign for my mom and she still displays it.  "Grandma's House, where cousins become best friends."   I'd like to think that's still true. AJ always seemed to have a special relationship with each of them.  So much so that the two oldest - the girls - always thought of him as their little brother.  Again, I think that's still true for them. 
After we moved to Carlinville we continued those big family Christmases at my mom's, but as she got older, she was willing to give up the hosting duties and the Leefers Christmas House became our house.  It still is, as best as we can get together.
I'm sure Christmases at Grandma and Grandpa Leefers house are among the best memories of all 5 of their grandkids, and I hope they've had a few good memories since then at our house. Each year we would take a picture of them all under the tree.  When my parents had their 50th Anniversary, I put all the grandkid Christmas pictures up to that point in a large poster frame to display at their party.  It was sort of a crude paste-up, but it worked.  Last year, I took the ones since and made another poster frame print.  This time the technology and options were a little better and of course, the pictures now included the great-grandsons.
Both the Leefers and the Sanson Christmas gatherings have dwindled a bit due to the kids having other families to accommodate.   Sometimes it's hard to for all to gather at the same time. 
Things change.

GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT

Well, that's quite a ghost, now isn't it?  What will we do?  What will you do?  We still have Thanksgiving to consider before we even get to Christmas.
I don't think my sister-in-law has figured out what she's going to do this year for the Sansons.
With my mom being 90, I still want to do what I can to give her as much of her family as I can for the holidays.  It's always been a special time for all of us.  AJ & Abby will spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with her family this year.  But, they will come on Saturday, so we've decided to do what we can to gather on Sunday the 27th.  We are all aware that all this could be canceled at a moments notice.  The "F" word is flexible.  (I learned that from being in the education world... that was always our "F" word.)
I decorate a lot around the house, but as of this writing, I plan to put up the tree and that's it.  I'll probably dig out my big Nativity, too.  After all, we should really focus on the "Reason for the Season" this year more than ever. 
We'll not have the traditional feast.  Plans are for just cold cuts sandwiches, chili, soup, and some munchies.  Of course lots of sugar treats to follow.  At this time, there will probably be 13 of us out of the possible 20.  But, that's okay.  It is what it is.
Masks will be required - unless eating.  Eating will be more spread out.  Plastic gloves for the buffet - use them, toss them and if you go back - use another.  Paper towels in the bathrooms so we don't use the same hand towels.  Lots of hand sanitizer all around and sanitizing wipes.  Feel free to steal any of these ideas for your own family.  We hope to make it all work. And, yes, I'll admit, it's not all for my mom.  A lot of it is for ME!  My reasons are emotional and private, but I hope we can pull this off and fill the house with love that day.

GHOSTS OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE
Who the heck knows?!  Sadly, we Leefers know that if/when Grandma is no longer with us, these Christmas Day celebrations will likely end.  I've suggested that I'd love to do what my aunt did and try for a Saturday evening in early December for a family potluck gathering.  I've also told them that I'd love to get the 5 grandkids and their families together sometime during the Spring or Summer, too.  After all, my generation grew up with huge family reunions, and maybe it's time to start that tradition with this group. 
Jack and I will be with AJ & Abby on those Christmases going forward.  Even if we haven't been officially invited yet.  Sorry, Abby, you married an only child!

My prayers are that you can all have some sort of holiday celebrations.  Zoom, or FaceTime or gather in small groups spread out a bit with safety precautions.  You don't have to be in the same room, state or even country to enjoy each other and feel the love for each other.  
Jesus is love.  And it's His birthday!  So celebrate the love anyway you can.

I don't think you can zoom in, so I made these as big as I could.  Hope it works!

Don't Mess with my Grandma!

Recently I've been in communication with a couple of cousins and it has sparked many memories and a few stories of our ancestors.  One of these cousins found a photo album from around 1940 that belonged to their dad - my Uncle Dale.  Their dad was my dad's oldest brother.  This album had pictures of their dad "out west". This was a surprise to them that he'd apparently traveled the US during that time.  Their parents, my uncle and my aunt, both passed many years ago, and my mom is the only surviving member of that generation for either side of their family.  They wondered if my mom would remember that trip or if she ever heard stories about it.  I told them I'd ask her, but they must realize, she wasn't around the family in 1940.  She and my dad did not graduate from high school until 1948, didn't meet until the next year and didn't marry until 1951.  
I asked.  She didn't remember anything about a trip, but, she wondered if it could have been around the time he enlisted in the Marines and maybe he was in training out west.  Further e-mails back and forth determined that was unlikely as he did not join the Marines until 1942.  He was discharged in 1945.  
For as long as I can remember, there was one story about Uncle Dale's military service that I've heard many times.  Another math lesson coming...
Our grandpa died in 1934.  He left my grandma with 4 sons and 1 daughter. Uncle Dale was the oldest at 12 and my dad was the youngest - not yet 5.  So Uncle Dale was the man of the house.  The only real father that my dad knew.  So jump ahead to my dad being a sophomore in high school in the mid 1940's.  The timeline from his graduation date would have made his 1st sophomore year around 1944-1945.  Yes, I said his 1st sophomore year. Why?  Because that was around the time Uncle Dale left for the service.  According to my grandma and aunt, they couldn't get my dad to do anything in school that year.  He passed PE, but that was it.  So, he had a second sophomore year. They all knew it was because Uncle Dale had left for the service.  His hero wasn't there anymore and my grandma and aunt had their hands full with a sullen teenager. In looking at the timeline from cousin Larry as to Uncle Dale's service dates, he joined the Marines around 1942.  But again, my dad would have been a sophomore the first time in 1944.  So now, I wonder, if this would have happened not necessarily when Uncle Dale went into the Marines, but maybe when he was sent overseas.  That could have been around 1944.  I just know my dad had 2 sophomore years and it was always determined that it had something to do with Dale being gone. 
I checked with another cousin, whose mom, my Aunt Melba, was the only sister among these boys, and as we know, moms tend to share more stories from the past than dads.  I asked if she remembered her mom saying anything about Uncle Dale taking a trip out west. She doesn't remember her mom saying anything about that.  But, she shared another story with me about Uncle Dale, high school and our grandma.  Apparently Uncle Dale did not want to finish high school.  Our grandma was doing all she could to keep him in school and one of my grandfather's brothers told my grandma that Dale did not need to finish high school and get a diploma. Our grandma told him that her son would get a diploma and he needed to butt out!  I just can't love this story enough.  She was one strong lady!
I don't think most of the 18 grandchildren of my generation truly understand what a remarkable thing our grandma did back in those days.  I try to share as much as I can about her and some of our other ancestors to the small group of the next generation that is "under my watch", but I'm not sure they will ever fully understand.  I'm really not sure any of us can comprehend.
But, here's the best story to sum up just what kind of woman she was. You see, as I said, our grandfather died in 1934 leaving her with 5 children. (One child had already passed 9 years earlier at the age of 1-1/2.)  Several years ago, I realized what a remarkable thing she did in keeping the family together. That was around the time I read a magazine article about some brother’s and sister’s in their 70’s & 80’s who had found each other after being separated in the 1930’s when their father died.  They were all adopted out because the mother alone could not care for them.  That's when I realized then what an amazing thing my own grandmother did to keep her family together. There was no Social Security then, but, the family hung together.  Somehow.  I'm sure my Uncle Dale, as the oldest, went out and found work, and probably wanted to work more to help make more money, and that's likely when my grandma stepped in and and told him he'd stay in school.  My grandmother took in sewing and with the help of various other relatives - some who took the boys in during the summers to work on family farms - she managed to keep everyone together.  Once summer was over, they were all back in school.  My mother-in-law knew my grandmother very well through their church activities over the years and she thought my grandma was an amazing woman.  She once said to me about my grandmother, “all those years she was a widow and you never heard one hint of scandal about her.”  I never thought of that before either, but, I’m sure there were men in the community who would have been more than willing to help her out financially.  That never happened. My grandmother knew her most important role was to be an example to her children.  Work hard, have faith in God and live an honest life.  Not only did they all 5 graduate from high school, but they were all confirmed in the church that their great great grandfather had helped to build. 
When my mom went back to work when I was 3, my grandma eventually became our babysitter.  My brothers were older and reached an age where they could stay home on their own sooner than I did.  I had a few years to catch up to them, so I spent a lot of time with her.  Probably more time than any of the other 17 grandchildren.  She was one of 6 sisters and 4 of her sisters also lived in Carlinville, so I spent a lot of time around all of them as well. Also, I spent a lot of time with one of my grandfather's sisters, who was very close to my grandma - my Great Aunt Zella. (shhh... don't tell anyone, but she was my favorite!)  All strong willed women and any one of them would have told Uncle Bud to "butt out".  
I have many, many memories, but my favorite is this.  After my Uncle Dale died suddenly at the age of 51, my grandma was broken hearted.  Four months later she suffered a stroke that left her unable to walk well and although she wasn’t confined to a wheelchair, it certainly made getting around easier for her. During the Easter Cantata at that same church where her 5 children (and now several grandchildren) had been confirmed, the senior choir was to sing the Alleluia Chorus. It is a tradition for the audience to stand for that.  I was in the junior choir and we were in the front of the church on the altar facing the audience.  The senior choir, was in the choir loft above and behind us.  There in the front row of the church, my grandmother rose from her wheelchair and stood for the whole Chorus.  Whenever I start to question God’s ways, I remember that mental image.  A woman who – through all the struggles of her life, did not question His ways for one minute.  And she stood to honor Him even when it was difficult to do so.