Windshields and Rearview Mirrors

Sorry, I hope you can all find this.  I've copied and pasted from my post the other day and I hope this turns out.  Someone told me they had a hard time reading on their phone.  I have the text as black and the background, I think, as white.  But, in trying to fix that my post from 9-24-20 got really messed up.  I'm trying to re-do it here.
Original - or somewhat original post from 9-24-20

I hesitate to share with you about a project I'm working on.  But, then, I realize by the time my project is done, most of you will have forgotten that I shared this.  I'm really putting myself out there with this one.  The fact is if I decide to scrap the whole thing, my hesitate could become embarrassment.  But, here we go... 

Maybe, like many people this year, I've had so much time on my hands that I felt the need for a project.  Remember a few months ago, I talked about how we all need a plan.  Something to keep us busy.  A new flow for our days.  So here's what I'm working on... I'm working on turning that old blog into a book of some sort.  Obviously it will not be on the best seller list.  If I go through with this, I will be using a "self publishing" company.  I'm reminded of my Great Aunt who turned her journals into a published book of memories in 1994.  Long before self publishing was really a thing and I would guess long before she ever looked at a computer. I'm sure her manuscript was hand written.

As for my book project, we'll just see how this goes. There was a lot going on besides just a 628 mile move and settling in to small town life again.  We were also going through the difficult process of becoming empty nesters. So I feel there's a lot of life, living, adjustments, changes, emotions and that ever present roller coaster that can be tucked within the pages. Again, it won't make the best seller list, and it may only be for A.J. and Abby and future generations - much like my Aunt's book. Fortunately for me, much is already written as the blog itself is there.  However, I'm doing some editing and adding a lot of commentary between some of the blog entries.
As you can imagine, reading through this as I edit and add to it, I find a lot of things that stir my emotions.  I'm reminded of some incidents that I'd forgotten.  Some of the memories reminded me of a few other things that I didn't put in the blog.  Mostly out of respect for another person's privacy.  There are many posts that put a smile on my face.  Today.... as I edited... a few tears welled up.
I'm up to the end of April 2007.  We closed on our old house around that time, and all 3 of us left the house for the last time.  This was the house where a 3 year old became a 20 year old in the blink of an eye.  And as I said, there was a lot of emotion between the lines.  Among my best quotes from those days was this: 
"We 3 don't need a common address to be a family."
A good quote since the month of May that followed that late April closing had the Sanson3 a bit scattered.  AJ was in Milledgeville, GA finishing his semester there.  Thankfully by this time in the blog timeline he had decided to move north and finish his education at Edwardsville.  Jack had filed his retirement papers after the closing and would still have a month - the month of May - before he could be officially retired. The AT&T rules back then were that you had to give 30 days notice for retirement.  But, because he had so much vacation, he could take a couple of weeks off and would travel north to meet the movers at the rental house.  Then he would return after a couple of weeks and work a few more days until his official retirement.  I was the homeless girl still in Conyers and because of Jack's timeline and the school system, I would be there for the month of May to finish the school year.  I had a few offers for a roof over my head from several friends.  The one that I accepted was from our friend, JoAnn, who offered a finished bedroom in her basement for me (and later for us) for those few weeks.  I liked the idea of having some privacy.  Not that I wouldn't have had that at our other friends, but it seemed to be a bit more private than some of the others.  I could have spent a week here and week there, etc, but staying in one place for the whole month, with all else that was going on, seemed best.  Her daughter also came home from college about that time so JoAnn, a newlywed of about 4 weeks, would have a house full. I am still so thankful for all that she and Dave offered.  It was nice to have a private place when needed.  During the week, she and I and Dave were all working, so we really weren't in each other's way.  I made plans each weekend to go somewhere to get out of their hair and give them some weekend privacy.  We had friends who had a lake house and I went there one weekend.  I spent Mother's Day with A.J. at his college apartment - cleaning his college apartment!! LOL  I only spent one weekend with JoAnn and Dave, but we had plans for an adventure together that weekend and headed to a North Atlanta suburb that had great garage sales.  And finally when Jack came, he and I took a mini-weekend trip over Memorial Day to Andersonville and Warner Robbins. Then, it was time to go "home".  As for A.J.'s move, the original plan was for him to join us in Illinois in July, but he eventually decided to move right after Memorial Day, too.
As I was working on this project today, there were tears as my editing and reading reminded me of those last days in our old house.  We closed on a Monday.  A.J. had come the day before for one last visit.  When he walked out and went back to school, there was little emotion.  We had about 7 days or so to vacate after closing.  Jack left the house for the last time on that Thursday morning - with little emotion.  I left on Thursday afternoon after the movers had come and gone - with a lot of emotion.  Here is an excerpt from that blog of 4-27-07:
Unlike the men in my life, when the movers left, I walked through from room to room and sobbed a bit. Looking at the wallpaper borders, the paint colors, seeing empty rooms but imagining the life they all once had. I guess it's harder on us women, because, as the heart and soul of our homes, we put our hearts and souls into them. I was the decorator. I picked out all the wallpaper borders. At some point, over 17 years, I painted every inch of every wall. And since I touched every inch with the heart of a woman wanting to make this house a warm and friendly home for her family and friends, it's harder for me to rip my heart away from those walls. But I did.
And now, focus on the future.  
The windshield really is bigger than the rearview mirror.