And she only reveals what she wants you to see...

That title.... it's a line in a Billy Joel song.  It popped up on my Facebook memories today.  It's from CarPod. I quote CarPod a lot on Facebook.  Especially when something hits me hard for the events or feelings of the day.  Somehow the right songs seem to pop up at the right times.  What is CarPod and why did that pop up today?

CarPod is the iPod that I keep in my car.  If I ever go on a long trip by myself, the world could end and I wouldn't know it.  I never listen to the radio in my car.  Or rarely ever, I just listen to all my tunes on CarPod.  There are over 700 songs and almost 400 in my usual playlist.  I have many playlists, though. One for Jack.  We took an old iPhone 4 a few years ago that was not worth anything for trading and I turned it into his own "TruckPod".  There are also some old KMOX radio broadcasts for him in a couple of other playlists.  But he likes his Sirius better for now, so that's fine.  Lots of variety for Jack. 
I have a playlist for Christmas - with words, another Christmas that's just instrumentals.  A playlist for the "kids", lots of Raffi on that one... Old MacDonald, Row, row row your boat and Down by the Bay. I think that last one was the favorite of a very young Landon.  I also have a Hymns playlist and there have been many times in my life where I just needed those songs.  Sometimes I just need our "Precious Lord" to "Take My Hand".  Included in this playlist is my "funeral song."  Enough said about that for now and hopefully we won't need it for a long time.

Why did Billy Joel pop up in my memories today?  Today must have been the anniversary of the first day of my last year working in the schools.  I was going in with a different attitude that year. It wasn't a bad attitude.  I just knew from the beginning it would be my last year and maybe it was time to disconnect.  Disconnecting was harder to do for some of the people I worked with. And my leaving at the end of the year was something that I didn't reveal to appropriate co-workers until it became necessary around February that year.  "She only reveals what she wants you to see",  was followed with "She can take you or leave you."  Don't misunderstand that last line.  Leaving a few was hard, but for the most part... Well.... there were a few... that I could take or leave. The song is titled "She's Always a Woman to Me."  Insert sideways smile here.  Could have segwayed into "I Am Woman" (hear me roar)  My departure was the right time though.  Except for this year.  The plans to travel a bit more got sky-goggled this year. But, I can crank up the Hymns and remain hopeful and remind myself Who's got this.  And even more important, Who's got me and the people I love.  Mahalia says "He's got the whole world in His Hands."  Good news!

I don't sing well at all, but I tend to sing along.  AJ told me that I ruined the Eagles for him because those are the songs I would sing along with him in the car in his youth  and I was so off key that he doesn't enjoy any of their songs anymore.  Oh well.... If that's the only damage done, then I did just fine.  (I'm sure it wasn't the only damage done... never is).

Music sparks our emotions.  Good and bad. I've said this before and I still truly believe that music rejoices our hearts and can also smooth our soul.  It is great to have music for good times and bad times. When we are happy and life is good, we feel like singing.  Some of the songs we sing and enjoy listening to are rejoiceful.  When times are tough, music can get us through those tough times.  Hence, a playlist of Hymns. 

Just one song or even a verse or phrase from a song can remind us of people we love, people we've lost and take us to a specific memory of our life.  It will either bring a smile to our hearts or the comfort of good memories.  That happens to me a lot.  There are songs that remind me of specific friends.  Some that take me back to a specific time in my life.  I mean find a 70's kid and tell me that Maggie May or Smoke on the Water doesn't take them back to high school.  And hopefully the good times of high school.  I have a few that take me back to the angst of those days, but I also think sometimes we need to go back and remember... but, then, knowing what we know now.  Big grin here!

And it can work in reverse.  You find yourself it a specific situation and a song pops into your head.  One that pops into my head a lot these days is Elton John's, "I can't light no more of your darkness".  Oh my!!!  We all have people like that in our lives.  Sometimes I just can't be there for you, because right now I need all of me for me.  But I hope they always know, "in good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forevermore, that's what friends are for."
Many of these people are truly "The Wind Beneath My Wings". 

All the songs from our wedding are on my playlist on CarPod. The song that I danced with AJ to at his wedding.  The one that was AJ & Abby's "first dance".  All those obviously bring a smile to my heart. There are a couple that, even though they are not meant to be spiritual, they are quite spiritual for me. Take "Because You Loved Me" and insert Jesus in there.  Feels better now doesn't it?  "I'm everything I am because You loved me". 

Sometimes it's just the voice I like to hear.  Micky Dolenz, Steve Perry, Dean Martin are my favorites.  

I could go through each song or many of the nearly 400 on the "Gail" playlist and explain what each one means to me.  But that would take forever and after all, I'll only reveal what I want you to see.  Some are bit personal.  Some would confuse you about how I feel about people or events.  But, know this - without any doubt in my mind, "I can't forget, won't regret what I did for love." 
And one more thing... Billy Joel also said, "You may be right, I may be crazy, but it just might be a lunatic you're looking for.."  
Music can be very complex.  But so is life.